I Know You're Going To Hate Me
by SwailaThorneBaflow
Summary: A dangerous creature of night and music, searching for a fleeting sense of self on this seemingly endless, dark road.
1. Rain, Firelight, and Hazel Eyes

1

Her legs carried her, quietly and calmly through the woods toward the castle, the building looked dark and foreboding, but she needed to get somewhere there were people, somewhere there was shelter and nourishment. What she met was nothing like what she'd expected though. The castle wasn't what she'd been looking for, but when she saw it, she knew she could find people there. However, with a castle, she'd have expected more people than she met. Many, many more.

Oh but what did it matter? There was food and a roof and company, even if it was for just a short while. It had to be a short while, in case she ended up hurting someone else... No, she couldn't afford that.

The rain had been falling for some ten minutes when she approached the great door, and knocked loudly. After a few moments, a plump, blonde girl, probably no older than herself, answered the door and invited her hastily inside, running to grab a blanket to throw around the new comer's shoulders, saying things like "You come in, sit by the fire. You'll catch your death out there."

She was ushered into a large room with a bright, crackling fireplace and a few cushioned chairs around it, and was practically pushed into one by the blonde woman. It took a moment for her eyes to adjust to the change in light, but when they did, she saw the man sitting in the opposite chair, looking right at her, an open book resting in his lap. He was lean with a slight tan to his skin. His left ankle was placed on his right knee, in a relaxed manner. His long, untamed hair was black as ebony and his jaw sharp. There was an air about him that showed power of some sort, and content, but it was his eyes that caught her the most. They were piercing, and deep, like pools of endless hazel light, that casually sized her up. Those eyes looked her up from foot to face, eventually locking with hers.

Shivering, she swallowed and forced herself to look at the fire, hoping that he couldn't see what she hid inside every day. If he saw it, she'd have even less time to spend here.

The heat from the fire was nice, comforting, just the thing she needed for the moment. Of course, she couldn't get too comfortable; she would have to leave it all too soon, so she couldn't grow to love it just to tear it away from herself. She sighed heavily and let her head fall back, eyes closed.

"Here you go, dear, I've brought you a cup of tea to chase out the chill." It was the blonde woman's voice, "I didn't know whether you liked cream or honey in your tea, so I didn't put in either, I hope that's alright."

She nodded, lifting her head and looking for the cup of tea, "Yes, thank you." Her voice was soft and sincere as she took the teacup from the coffee table in front of her and sipped gratefully.

"Dear, you're still shivering, I'll bring another blanket." And the woman was off again.

When the clicking of the blonde woman's shoes could no longer be heard, the man across from her spoke, his voice was not throaty, or deep, but low and smooth, almost seductive, "Don't mind Helga, she gets like that – very motherly and over protective, even over a complete stranger." He uncrossed his legs and set down his book, "Didn't think to bring _me_ a cup of tea though." A small chuckle came from him and he settled down into his chair, letting himself slouch a bit, "I'm Salazar, by the way. Please, spare me the cracks about it being a Spanish last name. I've heard it a hundred times over."

"Rowena." She said in response, taking another cautious sip of her tea. Silence. Rowena sat up a little bit to try to read the title of the book Salazar had been reading. 'The Encyclopaedia of One Thousand Magical Creatures' it read, 'What is he doing reading about magical creatures? Is he a wizard? And if he is what about the blonde girl... Helga, that's what he called her. Is she a witch then, too?'

"It's a very interesting book actually." Salazar broke the silence that was between them, he'd noticed her reading the cover. "Everything from basilisks to pixies. It's very informative. I could tell you where you might find a Norwegian Ridge Back dragon from reading this book." He smirked, making her break a smile as well.

"I'm just guessing, but... Norway? Perhaps?" They laughed quietly together and Salazar pulled out his wand from behind him.

"Accio teacup and pot." He said, flicking the wand, and not two minutes later there came a tea pot and teacup through the air, gracefully into the room to settle on the table. At that moment, Helga came back into the room with a blanket.

"_Salazar!_ What are you doing? Put that thing away!"

"Relax Hel; she's not a crazy witch killer. She didn't jump up and stab me when I mentioned basilisks. See how I risked my life for us? Aren't you proud of me? Godders usually does that kind of thing." Helga sighed and shaking her head laid the second blanket on Rowena. "Don't mind him, he gets like that – sarcastic and all." Salazar smirked and rolled his eyes, then poured himself a cup of tea. "I'm Helga, Helga Hufflepuff. Godric should be down in a while, he was writing a letter, and he said he's going to finish it before he comes down – even though he can't owl it until the rain stops. What did you say your name was, dear?"

"I'm Rowena."

"Well, Rowena, I hope you're feeling warmer, and dryer. What brings you out this way? Are you lost or something? Because there's a village close by –"

"Hey, Helga, why don't you try not to smother her with your chatter, and let her _answer_ your questions?"

Helga huffed and sneered at Salazar, but it made Rowena feel a little more comfortable. "I just happened upon this place. I'm not lost; really, just don't have anywhere to go." Her voice was no louder than it had been before, and she kept shifting her eyes from the floor, to her tea, to the fire, to her tea... She sipped again, slightly leery of talking about herself, in case they asked further questions. Lucky for her they didn't. It seemed that Salazar had stolen Helga's thunder. But it was alright, as someone else arrived to pick up the conversation.

"Oh Godric, did you finish that letter to your mother already?" Helga piped. Salazar snickered at this Godric, for writing to his mother probably. Helga shot him a glance, and then turned back to Godric, who nodded. "Oh good, this is Miss Rowena, Godric. Godric Gryffindor, Miss Rowena."

"How nice to meet you all." She said, truthfully.

Godric and Helga sat in two chairs side by side, she could feel the fondness they had for one another, and clearly saw the body language that suggested she was right in her feeling. She leaned toward him in her chair, and he had his hand on hers, it was quite a sight to behold, such affection in their eyes.

"A-hem, anyway, Miss Rowena, you are quite welcome to stay here as long as you like, as far as I'm concerned. That shouldn't be a problem, right Godric? Your uncle isn't coming to reclaim the place anytime soon, is he?" Helga turned her head to look at Godric for the last questions.

"Certainly not." He said in a strong, deep, confident voice, smiling at her. Rowena looked away from them, it hurt too much to see that... that love.

The fire crackled and popped as she stared at the logs burning bright red on the inside, with yellow and orange flames that cast a homey glow on everything around. She sighed. This would be another hard move when the time came.

"Miss Rowena – have you a last name that I may address you by? I hardly know you, and feel that respect is demanded of me for a woman." Salazar coughed, choking on his tea in a suppressed laugh.

She ignored the snort, and replied to Godric's question, "Ravenclaw."

"Alright, Miss Ravenclaw, how long would you like to be staying?"

"Oh, not long, don't want to be a nuissance, underfoot all the time."

"Nonsense!" Helga tut-tutted, "You won't be a nuissance at all, and, I don't know if you've noticed, but," She raised her arms, guesturing around the room, "this is a castle. It's rather difficult to be 'under-foot' here."

"Well, technically speaking..." Salazar said, reaching for his book.

Helga rolled her eyes, "Yes, _technically_ you're _always_ under-foot." She turned and addressed Rowena, "Salazar basically lives in the dungeons. Occassionally, he'll crawl out and provide us with some extra company."

"Hey! I come up on an almost daily basis, just because you're always upstairs in the towers and don't see me doesn't mean I never come up." He laughed and opened his book again, sipping his tea.

"_Fine_. But, Miss Rowena, do you need anything in particular? It doesn't seem you have much. Oh, I'm not trying to be rude." She added quickly. "I simply noticed you didn't have a bag or, well, anything really – just the clothes on your back. I would be absolutely tickled to take you into town tomorrow once the rain stops. Shopping is something I _usually_ have to do alone – being the only woman in this castle. But now, with you –"

"I'm sorry, did you say _only_ woman? I don't mean to be rude, but... you are the _only_ woman in this entire castle? You must be pulling my chain. How could one woman live in a _castle_ full of _men_?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Salazar asked lightly. "Got something against men have you?"

"Miss Ravenclaw," Godric said, a tad hesitantly, "Master Slytherin and I are the only men in this castle."

"You don't have to call me, Master. Even if I am your superior."

Now Godric joined Helga in rolling their eyes, "It's just the three of us living here, dear." Helga said.

"Oh..." Rowena sipped her tea some more and quieted down.

"Well dear, I sincerely hope you enjoy your stay here, but I'm thinking we should get off to bed, it is late. I'll show you to a room. We can talk about shopping tomorrow. You obviously need some sleep." Helga got up, took Rowena's teacup and saucer, and led her out of the room.

"So what do you think of her?" Salazar asked Godric without raising his eyes from his book.

"Well, she seems kind. A bit shy. Helga will be happy to have another woman around."

"Hmm."

"What about you?"

"I think she's hiding something, but she means well. And she's very pretty."

Godric laughed and got up, patted his friend on the shoulder, and walked out of the room, leaving Salazar alone with his book in the firelight.


	2. Revelations

2

He was giving her that look again. Rowena had been at Hogwarts Castle for about two and a half weeks now, and during that time when she wasn't being ushered around from one store to another, to the kitchen, to the garden, by Helga, she sat out by the lake or on window sills looking outside. It seemed that Helga had exadurated in saying that Salazar never came upstairs, as he always seemed to be close by wherever she was, and she didn't ever go into the dungeons. When he saw her (or rather when she saw him seeing her), he would be giving her the oddest look, which she couldn't precisely interpret. It gave the impression to be a mixture of amusement and curiosity, but she couldn't understand at what. Today it was worse though.

Today she was antsy and agitated. She needed to move, to do something, and by that night, she needed to be far away from that castle, lest anyone get hurt. Her blood ran high that day, like it did every twenty-eight days, and she felt the moon even in the sunlight out by the lake. Even though her feet were dipped in the water, her whole body felt hot from the inside out. And there he was, leaning against that apple tree, _staring_ at her, totally oblivious to what he was doing to her. A low growl passed her lips and she barely managed to hold back from baring her teeth at him.

Taking a slow breath, she closed her eyes and pulled her feet out of the water. Focused in on every one of her own movements, to maintain control, she smoothly got her feet planted and stood, balanced on them. The wind off the lake blew in her hair and she relaxed a bit, allowing the cool air to caress her skin where is was bare, on her arms and lower legs and face. Another slow, deep breath and she felt slightly more collected than before, then she remembered Salazar's stare, and she tensed a bit.

She turned opening her eyes to see that he'd moved from his spot under the tree and was walking toward her. Instinctually, the muscles in her legs twitched, getting ready to run or attack, while her mind, still in a somewhat rational state, told her that he wasn't going to stab her just yet, if at all. Her hope was for the latter. "Rowena, what are you up to? You seem... off today." It made her uncomfortable, knowing that he knew what her 'off' was. Just how much _had_ he watched her? What had he taken note of?

"I was about to take a walk around the lake, I suppose you could say I am a bit _off_ today." To say the least.

"Well, do you mind terribly if I come with you?" He asked politely, but Rowena was taken aback. He'd never asked to come with her to do anything, always just following somewhat silently, never really engaging in conversation or striking up the opportunity to do something, and she just wasn't sure what he was thinking.

His gorgeous hazel eyes looked into hers as she tried to think of an excuse for him not coming that he would accept, but she came up blank, and at last resigned to him coming.

She picked up her socks, sliding her feet into them then into her boots, then they started walking in a clockwise north-west direction around the lake and silence fell between them for some time. "So..." Rowena tried to break the silence with a bit of talk. "Lovely day isn't it?"

"Rowena, do you have something to tell me?" He asked.

"About the weather? No... It's rather clear and –"

"Not about the weather, Rowena." Cutting her off, he went on, "About why you're so twitchy today? Or why you are always outside or looking outside? Or perhaps why you watched the deer that Godric dragged in last week with such focus? I thought you were going to pounce on it and tear its throat out."

He didn't really seem to be asking a question at all. It almost seemed like he was just asking the questions as a formality to get the answer from her, instead of telling her what he already knew. She didn't like it at all. It made her palms sweat and it put her nerves so on edge some had probably fallen off. "I don't know what you're talking about." She said positively, making sure there was no hint of her lie in her voice. They were walking by a part of the lake that practically touched the forest and Rowena heard something in the bushes just ahead and left of them. Instantly, without her consent, her head turned and honed in on where the sound had come from, and her eyes scanned the bushes for whatever small creature had made the noise.

Salazar grabbed her shoulder and stopped moving causing her to spin a bit toward him when she tried to keep going. He had that 'you're not fooling me' look on his face as he asked, "Are you sure about that?"

"About...?" It took her a moment to bring her head back, "Oh – oh, yes, about having no idea what you're talking about? Yes, I'm sure that I am completely lost."

"Right." Salazar dropped his arm and went on walking at a faster pace. She followed his lead, happy for the quicker walk, as it relieved more stress from her shoulders.

For several minutes they walked in that brisk silence before Rowena broke it again, "So why have you been following me?"

He shrugged, "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Come now," She pressed, hoping to keep him talking about himself, "you and I both know that isn't true. You've been following me and I want to know why. I can't be _that_ interesting."

"Actually, you are." He said, "You seem... different."

"Well, gee, thanks." Her attempt at sarcastic humour falling flat on its face.

"No, you're... intriguing. And as they say, 'Curiosity is the first step to enlightenment.'"

"They also say, 'Curiosity killed the cat.'" She said soft- and matter of fact-ly.

"Well, I'm a snake, so I have nothing to worry about... Godders on the other hand..." He laughed at his own joke and Rowena gave a little chuckle. "But that wasn't where I was going. Yes, 'Curiosity is the first step to enlightenment.' Now, they don't tell you what the second step is, so I decided observing would be a good way to go. And now that I've gotten to the confrontation stage, I'm meeting a stone wall."

"Well, perhaps you shouldn't be so enquiring. You'd be much less disappointed."

"Yes, probably, but if you think that's going to stop me, you don't know me." He smirked at her assured in himself.

"You're right. I _don't_ know you. I would much like to get to know you." She smiled, trying to keep him off the topic of _her_.

Shaking his head, he chuckled. He knew exactly what she was doing, and decided to play along for a while. "Well, where would you like me to start? When I first met Helga and Godric, or when I moved out of my _oh-so-loving _father's house?" His tone was light as he reached up and snapped a branch off of a tree.

"How about whichever came first." She had her hands clasped in front of her, even though the heat in them made it a tad uncomfortable, it was a 'natural thing for a woman to do' clasp her hands daintily in front of her, and she just needed to pull off the facade here for another few hours. By nightfall she would have to be long gone, leaving behind all the lovely things that Helga had bought her. She shook her head ever so slightly and focused back on Salazar.

"Alright, well, I met Godric and Helga when we were just children. The Gryffindors were purebloods, who lived just down the block from me, so my father very much approved of my friendship with him, being obsessed with the idea of me marrying one of Godric's sisters." He rolled his eyes and laughed, "But anyway, so good ol' Godders and I became quite the pair of friends. We got into a lot of trouble together. Playing pranks on our fathers together, causing chaos in town. One time, when we were... oh... must have been 12, yes, well, we went down into town and broke every window of the sweets store and took all of the Chocolate Frogs, then left them in my father's bed that night. Oh, good times... Of course until we both got whipped with unicorn hair brushes." Again he laughed, but with more joy in his laughs this time rather than sarcasm. She could tell he really loved his childhood friendship with Godric, and that those must have been the most wonderful memories he had. He shook his head smiling, moving on from the flash-back. "When the Hufflepuffs moved in, four doors up from me, Godric and I wend out to take a look at the strangers. One of them was a pretty blonde girl a little bit younger than us. Naturally, Godric took an instant interest in her, saying that we should have her over some time. I, being myself," he straightened up and laughed, "said that if he wanted to hang out with her, he could go to her house. Besides, my father would never have approved of her. She was no pureblood, which I knew by her last name, because my father had beaten all the names of pure-blood families into my mind thousands of times and over again. So she could not come to my home, _ever_, not to mention why he would ever want to plot _anything_ with a _girl_. Admittedly, I was fairly immature as a young teenager, but the fact still stood that my father wouldn't allow it.

"I moved out at 17, to live here in Scotland, renting from Godric's uncle, Jordan Gryffindor, because I was bloody well sick of my father's strict and extreme discipline."

"What did he do?" Rowena was completely wrapped up in his fairytale life, or so it looked to her. She would have given anything to have good friends like that and parents that at least wanted to keep her, even if it was under the firm fist of prejudice. "What were his methods? What made you leave?"

"I see curiosity is getting the better of you, Ravenclaw, didn't you just say 'Curiosity killed the cat'?" It was just like him to use someone's own words against them, and smile doing it.

"Well," Said Rowena, using his tactic, "I'm an eagle, so I have nothing to worry about."

He laughed again, making Rowena's smile brighten, just adoring the sound of his laughter at something she'd said, especially because it wasn't a chiding laughter, but a real, honest laugh. "Alright, alright. I should have seen that coming." Shaking his head and letting his laughter fade he became serious again, "Rowena, I truly don't believe you'd want to know the things he did."

"Try me." She replied.

"Alright. Remember, you asked to know. He beat me with switches at night before bed 'just in case' I'd done anything wrong. Hit me with a metal horse grooming brush and with the flat of his sword most of the time for ridiculous things like waking up after or before he did. He had me walk on my hands (by way of magic) until I passed out. And still worse things that I really do not want to share with a lady."

Rowena nodded, understanding. For a little while they walked in silence, the sound of the water lapping up on the shore and the wind in the trees as the only sound for them to walk to. "What happened after you moved out here?" She asked timidly.

He brought himself back to the present and looked at her smiling lightly. "Well, I lived here and five, six years ago, Helga and Godric came up here, taking the rent and paying Jordan for the place. And not all that much has happened since. Just been a quiet life. Travellers, like you, sometimes come by. Most just stay a night though. And most are, well, men. I suppose Helga is just clinging to you so that she has another female around to converse with."

"Well, she does most of the conversing, let me tell you." Salazar chuckled, unsurprised.

Rowena did too, but sighed. "What's wrong? Didn't like my story?"

"No, no, that's not it at all." She said. "I'm just going to miss you all."

His brow creased unhappily. "What do you mean?"

"I'm leaving this evening, Master Slytherin."

"Please, call me Salazar, and why do you have to leave? Do you have somewhere to go?"

They both knew that the answer to that was no, but there was no fighting it, Rowena _knew_ she _had_ to be gone by that night. If she was here, things would be horrible, tragic, and she'd certainly hurt someone. She didn't want to hurt these kind people. "You could say that. Yes." They were coming back around to where they'd started by the lake, and Rowena looked down uncomfortably. "I should get ready to go, say goodbye to Miss Hufflepuff and Sir Gryffindor. I... Goodbye Salazar." And she moved around him to go to the castle.

Before she got too far, he called out, "Wait." And took hold of her wrist.

"Salazar, I –" but her words were cut off by his mouth pressing against hers. For that moment, she was putty in his hands and she stood there kissing him until her senses came back to her and she pushed away trying hard not to cry. "Goodbye Salazar..." And she left him standing there, only wanting her to come back.


	3. The Morning After

3

The morning was crisp, the air cool and moist with morning dew and a strong scent of grass and trees on the light wind. On the western horizon, clouds could be seen, chased away by the sun from the sudden rainy night before, while in the east, gold and pink light glittered as it hit the lake. This was a perfect morning to go out and simply sit against the castle wall with a cup of tea and lose one's self in the beauty of it all.

Helga had seen it from her window and, since she was really the only early riser in the castle, proceeded to quietly make herself tea and do what she'd thought of upon looking outside.

Humming to herself, she took a teacup and saucer, pouring in her tea with two lumps of sugar and just a bit of cream, and walked merrily to the front doors. With closed eyes, she opened one door and took a deep breath, letting the morning rush in to greet her. As she sighed the breath out, she opened her eyes and gasped, dropping her saucer, with teacup and all on the stone floor to shatter into pieces of fine china.

"Rowena!" She shrieked, "Good God, what happened to you? Helga lifted her skirts a bit and knelt next to the woman who was unconsciously lying on the cobblestone walk outside the castle. "Rowena, wake up! Wake up!" She shook Rowena's shoulders until she groaned and curled her legs in closer to her. "Rowena! Thank God, I thought you might be dead! How did you end up here? What happened to your dress? Were you attacked last night? Goodness _me_, who would attack a lady and leave her like this?" Helga looked up for a moment and saw that both of the front doors had claw marks running down them. Again she gasped and looked back to Rowena, who didn't _quite_ seem… _there_ yet. There was fresh alarm in Helga's eyes as she frantically asked, "Were you chased by some animal?!"

It seemed that Rowena was coming to, as she moved her hand to shield her face from the light and choked out, "Animal? Oh… my head…"

"Oh dear! Let me get you up to the infirmary." She slowly helped Rowena up, avoiding her hands after realizing that they were scratched and raw with slivers of wood in them. "You poor dear. You must have been trying so hard to get inside. I can't imagine how we didn't hear you…"

Rowena groggily made her way up the stairs with Helga's help, all the while, her mind shouting many different things at her. 'Why am I here? Why am I _still_ here? I should be gone! I should be _far_ away!' 'Oh god, they know now. For sure, they know.' 'Who've I hurt? Why is Helga the only one here? Did I hurt Godric? No, Helga would be more heart-broken than worried, were _that_ the case. Salazar? Oh damn! Have I hurt Salazar? I don't remember everything! When did I blank out?' 'I'm still here.' 'I haven't been stabbed… yet.' 'Oh, but I'm still here, in this safe, wonderful, happy place.' As they opened the doors to the infirmary, Rowena held her breath, one eye closed, just waiting to see who she'd put there this time. To her surprise, it was completely empty, after she and Helga. A relieved sigh let a great weight fall from Rowena's shoulders and she crawled up and sat on the bed Helga led her to.

"Now dear, tell me what happened last night." Helga asked pulling a cream and bandages out of a cupboard. "I can't imagine how those scratches got on the door but you've only the scratches on your hands. God, I'm so sorry, if I'd only heard you. I suppose the sudden weather made me believe it was thunder. But I suppose that's no excuse for leaving you out there to fend for yourself. I really wish I'd have heard you, it makes me feel so awful that you had to be in such a state for a morning like this one. I did wonder where you'd gotten to last night. I thought, for sure, you'd just wanted to go for a walk around town, not that you would actually leave us. I would miss you terribly. I would be so sad if you _did _leave." Helga just kept talking, as if the world would end should she shut her mouth, but it was alright, it meant Rowena didn't have to speak and had time to come up with a story to tell the kindly witch who had gently begun pulling the slivers out of her hands.

She could always go with the, "I don't remember anything, I have no idea what happened last night" routine, but she didn't think that would hold water with Helga, as she'd probably find a way to magic the memory out, and then she'd be worse off. There was always the idea of "Well, I remember walking through the woods when something came at me." Perhaps that was a better idea. Yes, she'd go with that one, and make Helga happy with some information, be it false or not, and still have the freedom of 'not remembering'.

"-but when I saw you out there on the walk I nearly had a heart attack. I thought I'd left you out to die! For sure, I'd left the front door unlocked last night though… Perhaps Salazar locked it, not thinking that you'd come back. He was really rather disheartened last evening, you know. I think he thought you really were leaving us for good, but here you are, dear. One last pinch here and… there we go, now lets get these hands bandaged." Gently, she smeared a small amount of the cream on Rowena's hands. It felt cool and numbed the throbbing in her palms, and Helga kept right on talking, even as she wrapped Rowena's hands. "And goodness, your dress is simply ruined. That was such a nice material too. I don't think _any_ tailor could fix _that_ mess. Such a shame, really, it did look so nice on you. The blue really complimented your pretty eyes and face. But what am I _saying_? I should be glad you're alive and so well. We can always go out and get you a new dress. So really, what on _earth_ happened last night? How did you get so lucky as to receive only a tattered dress and raw hands?"

Rowena'd worked it all out in her head, and now, she was prepared with her story, her lie… again. "I'd really intended to go for a long walk to clear my head, I mean, I wasn't sure whether I really wanted to leave or not. Usually, I'm a wanderer, but it's so lovely here, and I feel so welcome here, that I wasn't sure if I wanted to go." Helga smiled warmly up at Rowena as she spoke softly. "I was just walking through the forest thinking, with the rain falling down on me, and I barely noticed the time passing until I realized how dark it was. I looked around myself and nothing was really clear, only what was right in front of my feet.

"Something moved around me and I became quite frightened, not being able to see what on earth it was. I started trying to make my way back to the castle, quietly and calmly so as not to agitate the creature, and then it started chasing me, so I ran. I didn't look back to see what it was, only ran to the door and tried to open it, and ended up scratching at it to get through. I tried to run and find another door, but eventually ended up running back toward the front one and fell. I think I might have hit my head or something when I fell over, because everything got very blurry after that.

"I think I saw the creature run right over me and claw at the door, thinking I'd gone inside, but I think I passed out after that. I guess the creature either had bad eyes, a bad sense of smell, was sick, or all of the above, as it obviously didn't find me after that and gave up trying to get inside." She could tell that Helga bought the story, as she had true fear in her eyes, as if she'd gone through the non-existent ordeal.

"Good gracious! What kind of creature would behave like _that_?! I'm just glad it didn't see you after you fell, or it sounds like it would have torn you mercilessly limb-from-limb!" Helga got up and hugged her, "I'm glad you're still alive, my dear. I'll certainly have Godric find some of the men from Hogsmead and go out to hunt this… _creature_ you spoke of."

'You're not going to find it for another month…' She thought warily, hoping they'd have given up the hunt by then.

"But you said you think you hit your head? Perhaps you are concussed-"

"Oh Helga, I'm sure I'll be fine. I'm a quick healer. If anything is wrong with me later I'll be sure to let you know, alright?"

Helga didn't seem sure about letting Rowena off so easily. "I don't know Miss Rowena…" She bit her lip. "Why don't you stay here for today, just so I can make sure you didn't actually do any real damage."

Rowena sighed and resigned to staying in the hospital wing for the day, unhappily. "Alright, but can I at least move closer to a window?"

"Of course, of course dear." She said and helped Rowena get up and move to the cot of her choice.

For a little while Helga sat with Rowena and talked about the mundane things as if she were trying to normalize the situation. She pulled out her wand and produced some blueberry muffins and orange juice for them to eat and drink while they sat on the cot. It seemed that Helga's sole comfort in life was talking, and so they talked for almost an hour and a half before she got up and smoothed down her skirt. "Dear, I am sorry to leave you, but I do need to go find Godric and tell him to start hunting. Do try to sleep a little. I'll be back later to check up on you. Don't you worry about a thing." She hugged Rowena again, one more time, before exiting the room.

The sun filtered in through the exorbitant glass windows and danced playfully over her entire body, which sat curled up with her knees under her chin on the cot. She watched out the window to see the day unfold before her. It really was beautiful after the rain, as always in Scotland. The sudden storm wasn't all that odd, as they said so often there, "If you don't like the weather, wait an hour." And the proverb had proven to be right a few times while she'd been on the island. The warmth was soothing, but the silence unsettling. She'd never liked being stuck inside for long periods of time, it made her feel caged, but Helga had asked her to stay so that she could make sure she wasn't concussed - though Rowena knew she wasn't.

Slowly the puddle of light began moving farther off her body, and even though she couldn't see the sun well, as the windows of the hospital faced north-east she knew the hours were passing silently. Helga came back once close to mid-day, with a bowl of tomato soup and a bit of bread, and sat for a short while with Rowena again. "How are you feeling dear?" She asked as she set down the food on a table beside the bed, "Did you sleep at all?"

"No, Miss Helga, I did not. The day is simply too beautiful for sleep, and I feel restless."

"Well, I just want to keep you in here until tonight, just to make sure you're quite alright." Helga said still concerned for this woman she'd started befriending.

Rowena sighed, having failed at passing the hint. "So have you found Sir Gryffindor? Is he out hunting?" She tried for fear in her voice, and apparently succeeded.

Helga rubbed Rowena's back maternally, "Yes, dear, nothing to worry about. That creature will be gone soon."

'No it won't,' she thought, 'it's sitting in your castle as we speak…' "Well that makes me feel much safer. Thank you so much. For everything, really."

"Oh, deary, it's nothing really. I'm so glad to have you. It is really nothing to help you out in such situ-"

"No, Miss Helga, I mean, for _everything._ For being so kindly to me. For asking me to stay and being so generous. Thank you."

"Well, surely, it's no more than you'd expect. I mean, any good hostess should treat her guests as such. What kind of people are you used to?"

"Not, hostesses, I assure you. Here and there, a host, but really nothing special. Travellers' lodges or other such places don't offer much for good hospitality." An understatement, made on her part.

Helga smiled her sweet, warm, friendly smile and patted Rowena's shoulder. "Well, I'm glad to hear I'm doing such a good job."

They shared an amiable moment of silence before Helga sighed and got up again. "Well deary, I'm glad to see you're feeling better now, I will be back later. Try to sleep, please dear. It will do you good." At which she picked up the empty bowl off the table and left Rowena alone in the infirmary again.

The sun was beginning to set when Helga came back to find Rowena laying quietly on her bed, pretending to sleep, and left her to her rest. As soon as Helga's footsteps were out of her hearing range, Rowena got her feet to the floor and crept to the door and peered out into the hallway. All seemed clear so she took a tentative step out, then another, and another, until she was sure no one was coming, then, bare feet light on the floor, she rushed to the room she'd been staying in grabbing a clean dress to put on.

She chose a simple blue dress that wouldn't make much noise and would allow her to move quickly, should she have to. At her door, she grabbed a pair of slipper-like black shoes and crept out again.

Again, as swiftly as possible, Rowena made her way to the dungeons for the first time. Before heading down the steps, she realized that she didn't have any idea where Salazar's room was or how big the dungeons might be, but she had to find him. For a moment she thought she'd use a seeking spell, but remembered, then, that she'd left her wand somewhere on the far edge of the woods, and it was probably lost now. 'Perhaps Sir Gryffindor will find it.' She thought hopefully, as she made her way down the stairs.

Upon reaching the bottom, she saw that though there were three corridors off the stairs, only one was lit, so she followed it, hoping his room wasn't all too far. For a good 200 meters, the corridor went straight, then a hall to the left was lit and she followed it for another 300 meters, before making a last right turn and travelling 50 meters to where the lights stopped at a door.

She took a breath and raised her bandaged left hand to knock on the door in the right wall. Every tap on the door echoed down the hall and her every breath became a conscious thought.

One breath… hold… no answer. Breath out.

Two breaths… hold… no answer. Breath out.

Three breaths… hold… no answer. Breath out.

Knock again… wait.

Five breaths later, no answer. Rowena's shoulders sagged, and she turned to go, taking three steps away, only to be stopped by the sound of a lock being slid, the clank of a door knob turning, and the squeak of a heavy door opening behind her. "M-miss Rowena?"


	4. Confession

4

Rowena stopped, took another slow breath, sure to breath only through her mouth so she couldn't take in his distinct scent, and turned back around to look at a very exhausted looking Salazar. His hair was messy like he'd just gotten out of bed, and dark circles were evident underneath both of his red-rimmed eyes. He looked like he'd been up all night, and indeed he had - though he'd never tell her. Through the night before he'd been up worried sick about her, and had just be roused from sleeping on his desk by her knocks.

"Uhm… Good evening Ma- Salazar." She managed to choke out, tugging, subconsciously, at her blue skirt.

There was an awkward silence while Salazar rubbed the right side of his face, as if trying to calm a headache. "Uh, wh… Miss Rowena… Not to be… indecent… but… What are you doing down here?" His hand had moved to the back of his neck, and he was massaging it uncomfortably, not quite sure how to react to her appearance.

"Oh, well… I…" Rowena scrambled for words that evaded her like the ever elusive thief that escapes just as you have him cornered. "Er… well… you see I… Uh… I just… I wanted to… talk to you…?" Her tone asked if this were, firstly, allowed and, secondly, the correct wording.

He looked at her, trying to catch her eyes that kept flicking around like a hunted animal's. Her left hand had moved up to rub her upper arm, a motion that tried to calm and protect her, but didn't. After a moment of silence he combed his fingers through his hair and stepped to the side. "You're welcome to come in." His words were casual and cool, as if, through his voice, he were trying to soothe her anxiety.

Hesitantly, she took a step back toward him and his room. He just waved his hand in the direction of his door, like he were guiding her nonchalantly into his space. She proceeded, nervously into a medium-sized, fully-lit, and very cluttered room. There were books stacked in the armchair that sat in the far corner, as well as scattered about the room. This was definitely the room of an articulate, literate, and intelligent man.

She couldn't help but feel safer in this room - his room. Relaxing, she dared to take a slow breath through her nose. The room smelled of ink and parchment, leather and wax, there was also the scent of the inhabitant everywhere. It was a combination of apples, earth, and coca beans. The scent was like drinking warm tea on a cold winter morning, sending ripples of heat through her body. It took her a moment to actually realize that the only chair in the room that wasn't covered in books, was the chair at the desk across the room on the other side of his bed, an awkward place for her to get to, as she'd have to crawl over the bed to get to it. Apparently Salazar also realized this. "Erm… You can sit on the bed if you like."

Flattening her skirt, Rowena, cautiously did as he had offered. She took slow deep breaths and looked at the wool rug on the floor directly beneath her feet, her fingers wrapped tightly around each other in a Celtic knot. Salazar became gradually tired of standing and flopped onto his bed with a yawn. "You said you wanted to talk to me?"

"Ah, well, yes." She said not looking up.

"Well talk away." He raised his arms up to rest his laced fingers behind his head as he leaned against the headboard.

Another long break of silence before Rowena spoke. "When did you figure it out?"

"Figure what out?" He asked blandly, his eyes closed and relaxed.

"Well…" She started. "The thing… you know… about me… what I am…"

"As far as I can tell, you're a woman. I also believe that everyone in this castle knows that. Oh and you're also a witch, again which everyone knows." He chuckled slightly at his wording.

She furrowed her brow and looked at him confused. She had been sure that he knew. "Well yes, but the other thing… you know…"

"What other thing?" He looked so calm and tranquil, leaning there with his eyes closed, but she couldn't understand why.

"You do know don't you?"

"Well, I could say so."

She sighed a heavy breath, looking down again, "You're not going to tell them are you?"

"Tell who?"

"Well Miss Helga and Sir Gryffindor… You don't seem to have a problem with it, but they… might." Might? _Might?_ No, they definitely _would_.

"What am I not telling them?"

Confusion swept over her again. What was it that he said he knew about? No, he _had_ to know. He'd pointed out the things that gave her away. He had! He knew, he had to know. She shook her head, "What?"

"What am I not telling them?" He repeated, enunciating a bit.

He wasn't getting it from this angle, she had to change how she was asking him her questions. "What did you want me to tell you yesterday? While we were walking, you asked me if I had something to tell you. What did you think I would tell you?"

"Just a little something I already knew."

Something he already knew. So he _did _know. Was he playing mind games with her? Well that would appear to be his way, so she shouldn't be surprised if he was, but she didn't like it. "They can't know. Miss Helga and Sir Gryffindor. They can't know, because I don't want anything bad to happen."

Opening his eyes and raising one eyebrow he asked, "What bad could happen?"

Her jaw dropped, and she looked at him astonished, "_What bad could happen?_ You must be joshing me. You should know full well the risks of… of… me being here."

"Oh I do. I do know them." He was smirking. If there had been any doubt in her mind about him playing head games with her, before, they were gone now.

"Don't you play games with me Salazar." She snapped, "Now, what do you know? I want a straight answer."

He paused a moment, unshaken, "Well… I know that If you combine blue and red dies they turn purple. I know that it snows in the winter, and the leaves fall in autumn, but not off the pine and fir trees. I also know that a mandrake's scream can kill a person. I know-"

"Dammit! Not that!" She got to her feet hurriedly and looked around the room, at the stacks of books. "You know that is _not_ what I'm talking about." Her eyes scanned until she found what she was looking for. On top of a stack close to the head of his bed, there lay the book she was looking for. 'The Encyclopaedia of One Thousand Magical Creatures.' Her fingers started flipping pages frantically. "Do you know that I'm a…" She found her page and threw it, open to said page, onto Salazar's lap and pointed to the subtitle, "werewolf, or not?"

He smiled satisfied, closed the book, after carefully moving Rowena's bandaged hand. "Well if I didn't before, I do now."

"URG!" She growled through her teeth and sat angrily on the end of his bed, holding her head up with her thumbs and fore-fingers circling her face. 'Calm down Rowena. You've just admitted to this man that you are what you are and he hasn't jumped to stab you yet. He wasn't even surprised. Calm the hell down.' Slow, deep breaths came tensely through her gritted teeth as she tried to sooth the fear and anger at herself.

"Do you know what else I know?" He asked after several long beats, his voice calm and somehow different… affectionate, possibly? That frightened her further, she wouldn't do this again.

"What?" She forced with vehemence.

"I know I really liked kissing you."

Her heart dropped to her stomach and she felt it ripped out, from there, and stomped into that green dyed rug beneath her feet. 'No, no. This cannot happen. Not again. No, I refuse it… but how can I? I… feel the same way… Why?!'

She turned her head to the left and dropped her hands a little to see him, his hazel eyes waiting. Waiting for her. Her answer to his words. But how could she tell him what she felt? She couldn't, it was as simple as that. She couldn't tell him because she would just end up hurting him more when she left. She had a maximum of 28 more days to stay. 28 days would not be enough, but she could not try to satisfy him longer. She couldn't try to satisfy _herself_ longer. It wouldn't be fair…

But…

She tried to dash the word from her mind, 'But'. Nothing good ever came for her after it. She tried hard to stop thinking, only… his eyes kept her going, 'But I could stay for this short time and just… be with him. He would have to understand after that.'

Salazar's features began to drop, speaking his thoughts without words. "Please tell me you feel the same. Please tell me something. Anything, even if you laugh at me, don't leave me waiting here. Please.'

"I-" She tried, not finding the words. "I… did… too." Her lips finally breathed out. Fear gripped her throat, she didn't want to feel how she felt now. She didn't want to hurt so much later. And worse… she didn't want to hurt him… she couldn't _hurt_ him, or she could never live with herself again. His smile, relieved and bright, only made it worse, but she couldn't help but smile back. He just seemed to liven her face, and she couldn't look down while he looked so happy.

They were quiet for a long while, just smiling at each other until she let herself relax a little and moved toward him. Hiding the fear in her blue eyes, she slid her arms around his neck and kissed him, her heart pounding loudly in her chest. Salazar wrapped his arms around he slender waist, holding her close to him, his heart out-beating hers, and she heard it. The impending guilt threatened her mind, but she suppressed it, feeling… happy, in his arms. This feeling wasn't something she'd felt for… no, she couldn't think about that, she had to think about the here and now because it wouldn't be here for that much longer. She had to savour every moment she had.

The kiss broke for air. "You're so warm. Are you ill?" He asked, concerned, leaning back from her, he saw her flushed face.

Indeed she had been blushing, but she was not sick. "No, I'm fine. Side effect of being… what I am…" She looked down at her hands.

He looked down with her and actually took note that her hands were injured. Picking one of her hands in his, he examined the bandaging. "What did you do last night?"

"I… I came back… The damage to the front doors is my doing."

"Did you break them?" He asked turning her hand over.

"No. Just left long claw marks in them."

"In your hands?" He looked up alarmed, at her.

"What?" Responded Rowena, with just as much surprise in her voice, looking back into his eyes. It took a moment for it to register that they'd been talking about different things, and she laughed in relief. "Oh, goodness, no! I left claw marks in the _door_, not my _hands_, and I didn't break either of them, but Miss Helga is paranoid." He began laughing with her as he understood. "In fact, she doesn't know that I'm here. She thinks I'm sleeping in the infirmary. My hands are probably fine." She took her hand back from him and fumbled with the bandaging.

Salazar laughed more at her futile efforts and took her hand again. "Best not to do that. It might upset Helga." He kissed her softly, his hands forming a cocoon around hers.

"Speaking of Miss Helga…" She said "You _won't_ tell them, will you?" Her brow was creased as she asked the question.

He sighed smiling at her. "Don't you worry, I won't tell them." Again he kissed her and she smiled.

"Thank you." Rowena breathed sincerely. "I should probably go though. Miss Helga will be getting worried if she's gone back to check on me." She began getting up from the bed and straightening her dress.

Salazar nodded. "I'll see you tomorrow morning if you'd like to meet me for breakfast in the kitchen."

Rowena smiled, "That would be most lovely. At what hour?"

He chuckled, "Let's say… Eight?"

"Eight in the morning it is. I will see you in the kitchen then." She bent down to kiss him again and left the room, closing the door quietly behind her. Once out of his sight, her face dropped, and the guilt swelled around her.

'You know what's coming.' She thought to herself. 'You've shaped your own cruel fate.'


	5. Nightmares and the L Word

5

He was walking toward her, that confused and irritated look on his face. "What? Why not?" His shirt was lying on the floor at the end of the bed and his chiselled body was exposed to her. How she wanted to throw her arms around him and kiss him and touch him and tell him that nothing was wrong, but she couldn't. It wasn't safe.

"Darling, _please_. I know, I _know_, but I can't. Not tonight. Any night but tonight. Please, tomorrow? _Please_, please sweetheart." Her pleading did not stop his advancing, and she just kept backing up, trying to keep her distance from him. Tears began streaming down her face. Anger was becoming evident on his.

"Not _tonight_? Of _all_ nights, Rowena! God! Are you going out to meet some lover? Is that it?!"

"No! No! Never! Please, I can't explain right now, but one of us has to leave this room, _right now_!" Her entire body shook and she knew that she had to get around him, he had to stop advancing, he had to let her go. Her back hit the wall she'd been approaching, the farthest one from the door. Her heart was racing through the roof, her sobs filling the room around her, her desperation taking her over.

"For God's sake, Rowena! No! This is _not_ a night I'm giving up! Stop that God damned crying! What do you take me for? A fool? A push over?" He stepped forward and aggressively grabbed her shoulders, lifting her off the ground. "What is _wrong_? Why do you have to leave _tonight_? _Tonight_ of _all nights_? Do I have to remind you about what _happened_ today? I shouldn't!"

"Please…" She sobbed desperately, "Please, let me go…"

"No! Rowena! I want answers! Not tomorrow, not later, _now_! Start talking!"

Pure panic raced through her eyes, there was no time, despite her tears, she managed to shout, "Please! Move!"

But it was too late for him to move now. Her body twitched as it began to change. Her joints swivelled and shifted position to fit the sockets made for them by the other bones. Dark grey and black hairs began pushing through her skin and her face lengthened. In utter fear, he let go and backed away, letting the half-human half-wolf Rowena fall to the hardwood floor. "Oh my God…" She heard him breathe, as her transformation continued until she was on four huge paws and she had the appearance of an overgrown wolf.

Her eyes were yellow and hungry. He backed away, shaking in terror, but it was too late for him to be afraid now. The huge black paws padded across the floor, her claws clicking with each step. Her feral teeth were bared and the predator was on the hunt. He backed up more and more until he bumped the door. His heart was beating madly in her ears, his sweat, suffocating her with evidence of his fear, and his blood, pumping just underneath that feeble layer of skin drove the creature mad with blood-lust.

The small part of Rowena that was still human screamed, 'NO! NO! STOP! NOT HIM! GO OUT THE DOOR! SMASH THROUGH IT! NOT HIM!' But she was drowned out by the creature's need to feed.

A deep, lethal growl passed her wolf teeth and he jumped, fumbling with the door, but it was too late by the time he got the knob turned and pulled it open, she'd jumped. Her claws tore at his throat.

She missed, clawing his face. He fell to the ground screaming in agony and overwhelming fear. The creature's claws came down on his left side, tearing him up like the scrap of meat he was to it. Rowena screamed and cried inside it's head, but nothing she did helped, the creature kept going.

Regaining some strength, he punched her in the side of her head, distracting her long enough for him to kick her in the stomach and out the door. She got back to her feet outside the room and prepared to run back at the closing door.

"Rowena! Rowena!"

She sat bolt upright and looked around herself, terrified. It took a moment to settle in that her nightmare had been cut short. Salazar had been saving her from it lately.

"Rowena, are you alright?" he asked, rubbing her shoulders. "You where whining and tossing again."

She turned beneath the duvet and wrapped her arms around his chest, pressing her bare breasts to his ribs, and laying her head on his collarbone, her face away from his neck. Rowena's body shook with sobs from the dream. It was just like it had been almost every night for… four years now? No, in a month it would be five.

He stroked her long, soft hair that flowed down her spine in black waves, crooning to her. They'd been sleeping together for two month now, having sex for just over one, and she'd temporarily solved her problem of being a wolf once a month.

She would simply go off on those nights, deep into the woods, leaving her clothes folded at the back door (picked up by Salazar later), and run until morning when Salazar would come out and find her with a fresh set of clothing for her to wear.

Though Salazar had been searching for a spell or potion to stop her from changing into a wolf, he'd had little success so far, and so did all he could to help her for the time being. She knew that she was falling for him, hard, and though it frightened her to her core, she couldn't make herself leave him. Even knowing all the trouble and hurt she could cause him, all the suffering she could cause him, all the grief, she couldn't pull herself away. He was becoming so much more than she'd ever expected or wanted.

"It's going to be okay, Rowena. Hush, my sweet wren. It was just a dream. Nothing's going to hurt you. Not while I'm here." He petted her more, holding her closely and continuing to croon in her ear. One of his pretty pet names for her was 'wren'. It had come about during their first few 'dates'.

They were out sitting by the lake under an old oak tree. The light filtered down through the leaves and she was lying across his lap looking up at his beautiful face. Salazar had commented about how the light seemed to dance on her fair skin and suddenly, out of the sky came a beautiful wren that landed on Rowena's stomach. She looked around, up at Salazar and then finally at Rowena herself. It hopped around a bit, making her laugh, which startled the bird into a chirping laughter of its own. It wasn't long before it started to sing blissfully, simply standing there on her stomach, like it had every right to be so. Since then, Salazar had adopted the name Wren, for her. Besides, he'd said, it could well have been part of her name depending on how one pronounced it. It could be Row-eh-na, or Row-ee-na, though the latter was the proper way to say it, but the first, he said did sound like it had 'wren' in it.

"Shh" He said trying to calm her. She wept, thinking about the last few months with him.

Shortly after they'd started both sleeping in his bed, he'd started waking her up from her dream, instead of her waking up in a cold sweat early in the morning. He'd asked her, "Do you have nightmares every night?" She'd looked away from him, tears stinging her eyes.

"It's very rare, the night when I don't." He didn't press her more on the subject, just kissed her eyes and laid with her until they fell asleep again.

He'd now become accustomed to waking her in the night from whatever tormented her mind so. "It's alright, Rowena, it's alright." Her tears had gradually ceased as he held her and she curled up against him. "Better now?" He asked, as always, and she nodded, as always, and he laid her down again beside him.

He brushed her hair out of her face and kissed her forehead, before resting himself down. They looked at each other for a long time in silence - she, propping her head with her right arm and running her left fingers through his hair, and he, running his hand up and down her strong, slender figure, feeling every smooth curve to her body.

He began drawing on her back, making her giggle. "What are you doing?" Salazar smiled playfully and began dragging his finger along, more slowly so that she might be able to figure out for herself. Raising one eyebrow and furrowing the other, she asked again, trying hard not to squirm as he tried to draw, but ended up only tickling her. "What is it?"

Pausing a moment to think, Salazar moved his hand out from behind her back and began drawing on her forehead, smiling the whole time. She giggled, not sure what to make of the situation. "I still don't get it." He drew now one thing repeatedly, slowly, as she tried to figure it out. Each time he brought the lines across, he made them distinct, but they were meant to be one thing… "I?" She asked attempting to solve the riddle. He smiled and changed what he wrote. This one was a simple right angle… "L?" Now he changed to an oval shape. "O?" She was beginning to see what he was doing. He was spelling something to her. "V?" She guessed at the next letter, and again he changed it. This time he made one vertical line and… she couldn't tell if he'd drawn two or three horizontal ones, or if he'd just brushed her head on the last one. "Er… F?" He drew the same symbol more slowly now. "Ah, E." Again, the shape changed to two diagonal lines. "V, again?" He smiled shook his head and changed the letter slightly, making the first line shorter than the other and changing the angle a little bit. "Y?" Another ovular shape. "O." Finally he drew a dip on her forehead. "U?" He placed his hand on her hip and smiled hopefully. She gave him a confused look, having lost track of what he'd written. Just a chuckle from him and he drew it across her breasts. She furrowed her brow a bit, running it through her head, so he drew it once more and put his hand back to her hip. It took her a moment longer to figure out what he'd been writing; I LOVE YOU. Her heart stopped for a moment in time that lasted forever.

'No! No! Don't love me! I can love you all I want, but you can't love me _back_! You'll just… hurt more! You can't, can't, _can't_ love me!' Rowena desperately tried to hide the panic in her eyes. How was she supposed to respond? What was she supposed to be able to say to that?! She knew full well the answer he was looking for, but could she bring herself to tell him that thing which could break him, was the question. The expression in his eyes said, "Just say something, please. If you scream at me and run out, that's fine, at least I'd know where you stood. Can't you say _anything_ to me?" But there were no words for her to speak. Nothing she could say to make her torn mind satisfied. However, perhaps she could make compromise another way.

So, Rowena kissed him softly and slipped one of her feet between his ankles, pulling herself closer to him. He nuzzled her neck and collar bone, and smiled at her. "Are you ready to go back to sleep?"

"I… think I'm going to stay awake for a while longer." She breathed, too deeply in thought to rest now.

"Well, don't be up too late, we've got things to do tomorrow… Well, I do. Have to go meet some rich git about funding for this school idea of Godric's. I don't see why _he_ doesn't go meet him, it is a friend of _his_." Salazar chuckled lightly, and kissed the top of her breast before resting his head again, one of his arms draped over her midriff, and before long, he seemed to be out like a light.

Rowena sighed and stroked his hair softly. He was positively irresistible to her, and that meant so much trouble. The last thing in the world she wanted to do was hurt him, but one way or another, it seemed she was going to. She had to, but she wanted it to be as little hurt as possible. 'But how can I? I can't bring myself to walk away from him. How could I possibly make this any easier on him?' Again she sighed. "Oh, Salazar… I'm falling. No… I've already fallen… I'm in love with you… but... Oh…" He turned in his sleep and she hushed for the time being. 'How can I leave you?' Her thoughts continued silently. 'You are… so perfect… How can I? I know I should, because if I don't… No! I can't… but I have to… I have to think about it. If I don't, then I have nothing to drive me to leave.' "I should have run months ago." 'I could be in… Austria by now, if I so chose, but I chose to stay with you! Why?!' Again she sighed heavily, kissed his cheek, and whispered to herself, her eyes on the sleeping man, "What a stupid question. I already know the answer… I love you. I've already come to that conclusion. But I'm a fool… Salazar…" She swallowed, "I know you're going to hate me."

"_What_?" Rowena jumped and fell off of the bed onto her hip. Suppressing a yelp of pain as her pelvis hit stone, she backed up to the wall, away from the bed. He'd not been meant to hear all that, but there he was, sitting upright, a hurt expression on his face. She curled her legs up to her chest and wrapped her arms around her naked body, as if by doing so she could cover up her naked soul. "I'm going to _hate_ you?"

God, she didn't want to explain this. She didn't want to tell him. She couldn't! How _could_ she?

He sighed, dropping eyes, "Look. Would you at least get up off the floor? It must be cold down there…"

Shaking her head she replied, "I… No, I'm… just going to stay… here."

Struggling for words he kept at it, "No, please. You, take the bed. I'll leave if you want me too."

"Salazar, I'm fine, really."

"Curled up on the stone, cold floor in nothing but your skin after falling out of bed due to finding that I'm awake… somehow… that doesn't constitute 'fine'."

"It's not as if I haven't slept on worse." She mumbled, turning her face away. Part of her hoped that he didn't hear it, though she wasn't sure why.

"Rowena, just… look…" He rubbed his temple with his right hand, eyes closed, trying to figure out what to say. "Just… please come back up here. I don't like seeing you down there on your own. You look… so vulnerable…. Please, Rowena?"

"No, no, really, I'm not vulnerable. I'm a," she hesitated ever so slightly at the word, "werewolf, for Christ sake. I can take care of myself."

Salazar had a very pained expression on his face. He'd been deeply hurt by her words in a way that she couldn't understand. He knew she probably wouldn't understand, but he needed her to hear him out. She felt his struggle through his eyes. His eyes told her everything about him most of the time. Rowena couldn't stand to keep looking at them, because it hurt too much to see that she'd indeed hurt him, like she knew she would. "But…" he started, still searching for words, "What if _I wanted_ to take care of you?"

Neither of them moved, Salazar just stared at Rowena, hoping, and Rowena looked down, trying not to die on the spot. There was a long beat of still silence, fragile as a glass rose. Rowena didn't know what she was supposed to say, how she was supposed to respond. She didn't want to go through all this again, and she especially didn't want to feel the way about it she did right now. While Salazar waited on edge, waiting for her to walk out. But nothing happened, and sooner or later, they knew, someone would have to drop that fragile flower, and break the silence.

At last, Salazar took that role, "Rowena… please…" She didn't move, "Rowena, look at me…" She did. "Please come back up." Slowly and almost shakily, Rowena crawled back to the bed, clambered up, and crept under the quilt. Salazar stroked her hair. "Do you realize just how beautiful you really are?" She didn't answer. He sighed and continued stroking her. "Rowena…" She looked up and he locked eyes with hers that were filling with defiant tears, "You are… the most beautiful women I've ever met… I wish you could see that." Another long pause before he spoke again. "Have you ever loved someone before?"

Rowena took a breath, fighting her eyes, and looked down. "Yes."

Salazar paused. "When?"

"We… parted, five years ago." 'Oh, yes,' She thought, 'we _parted_… to put it lightly…' "We'd been together for two years…" It was hard for her to talk about such a touchy subject.

His voice fell to a whisper, "Idiot." That was his only word.

"I'm sorry what?" She asked, shocked at his comment.

"He must have been an idiot to leave a woman like you. And I'll bet he was ugly." He smiled, trying to comfort her.

A single hot tear escaped her eye, and another followed. She opened her mouth to say something more, but no sound came out, so she shut it, frustrated. 'You're wrong.' She'd wanted to say. But she couldn't bring herself to say that to him, for some reason. Instead he kissed her forehead, wiped away her tears, and whispered. "Go back to sleep, Rowena. Everything will be better in the morning. I won't be here when you wake up, probably, but I'll be back before you know it."

Again, she complied to his wishes, and closed her eyes, letting her body drift into the depths of the unconscious, and watched as her own personal horror show began again.


	6. A Shocking Sight

6

The door opened and there he was, standing there with that wild look in his eyes. His wand was poised, aimed at her. Her mind screamed for her to run the other way, but it was too late for that. Much too late. She had no control. He spat out a spell, "STUPEFY!" But he missed the creature heading for him.

He tried twice more, but he couldn't see out of one eye, as blood was spilling down one side of his face, and he was in an utter panic, so he missed both times. The second spell he cast though, hit her, sending her writhing to the floor. It was a horrid spell. A dark spell. A spell she'd never have thought would pass his lips. "CRUCIO!" She twitched on the floor howling in pain. No one would hear her, just as no one had heard him when he'd screamed. They were alone, at the cottage in the woods. No one was around for miles. Even if someone did hear, they wouldn't come in time. One of them would probably be dead by the time they got there, if not both of them.

He must have lost his concentration, because the spell came off her, allowing her to whine and tuck her tail, just long enough for him to get around her and out the door. But he wouldn't get far, not with that creature on him. She gathered her strength and began going after him. Rowena screamed in her head, "STOP, STOP! HE'S GOING TO THE KITCHEN! STOP CHASING HIM! RUN! DEAR GOD _RUN!_" But the creature would not listen; it prowled after him. He stumbled and tripped into the kitchen, leaving a heavy trail of blood.

The creature saw red, only red. Anger and revenge as well as hunger flooded its mind, drowning out Rowena's desperate cries.

Foolishly, the creature followed through the kitchen door to see him digging in the silverware. The creature, seeing that it had a greater chance of death, now, began to panic. It growled loudly and leapt at him. As she flew through the air, such a short distance between them, he brandished a sharp, silver meat knife. He did fall under the black wolf, but not without sinking the knife into its shoulder. It howled in pain, jumped back, and the knife was retracted, still tight in his fist.

Fight or flight instinct kicked in. It was then that she heard a horse, unknown to her, whinny a short distance away. The wolf chose flight this time, and dove through the glass window over the washing basin and ran for all it was worth. She heard two men's voices behind her not fifteen seconds later.

"Good GOD! What happened to you, man?"

"Chase the giant, black wolf that's running into those woods! She's a werewolf! Kill her!"

Rowena's heart split into thousands of pieces as she ran, and she relinquished her mind over to the wolf who had no need for such emotions, and let out a long, deep, distressed howl that echoed from every tree and rock in the woods that surrounded her broken soul.

Her eyes opened and reality slowly settled in. Rowena sat up and buried her face in her cupped hands, breathing deeply, and trying to move past the nightmare. She heard Salazar breathing heavily in his sleep, and felt somewhat comforted.

The room was quiet aside from the two hearts beating and two breath patterns that surrounded her. Her heart was beating at an alarming rate, but she was beginning to calm it. It would be just fine in a moment or two. Another few deep breaths and her heart was back to normal.

After a few minutes she swung her legs off the bed and running her fingers through her slightly knotted hair, Rowena got up to search for a nightgown and robe. She needed a glass of water. It couldn't have been very many hours into the day, Salazar was still dead asleep, so she proceeded quietly to opened the closet door and reached in for a pale yellow gown. It slipped over her head easily, and then she grabbed her dark blue robe to wrap around herself. She stretched and yawned before slipping on some flat shoes and heading to the door.

She hated sleeping so much sometimes, because of all the things it brought to her mind. It reminded her why she shouldn't be so attached to Salazar, and why she should not be there, no matter how much she wanted to be. It reminded her of the creature that she was, and worst of all, it reminded her of things she'd done.

Rowena stepped into the hall and walked a few paces before she heard someone else in the corridor. There was something about the other person's smell that sent her alarm bells ringing in her head. Something about the sound of his step that made her feel the need to run in the opposite direction as quickly as possible, but she couldn't put her finger on it. He was coming toward her around the corner, and she slowed her pace to almost a crawl, several meters before the turn, not a conscious decision, but an invisible force, making her do so.

He was almost at the corner, and everything inside her, but the conscious, thinking mind was screaming and burning to run, but she didn't, unable to think of why she would feel this sudden fear. Then he came. He turned the corner and she froze in utter shock and panic.

_Him_! She didn't think she'd ever see him again, but there he was, standing not twelve meters from her. Now she new why she needed to run, but it was too late for that now. It was always too late. 'Oh god! _Why _is he _here_? Why _now_? Wake up, Rowena, you must be dreaming! You _are_ dreaming. Yes, that's it. This is all a dream, and you're going to wake up any second.' She closed her eyes and tried to will herself awake, and opened them to see the same scene before her. He was still approaching, and hadn't seen her yet. It was no surprise though…

He was now only roughly six meters from her, and he saw her now, "Oh, I'm sorry Miss, I didn't see you there." It sent a dagger through her heart to hear those words. Those first words she'd ever heard from him those years ago when they'd collided, both lost in their books. He hadn't realized who she was yet. "I do hope that you may help me. You see I lo…" His expression changed suddenly and he jumped back. "What are you doing here?" There was fear in his voice, but anger too - anger that had been simmering like a kettle over the fire, for years and years. His beautiful golden hair reflected back the light from the candle nearest them, and his jaw was strong and square as it had always been. He was just as tall as she'd remembered him, nearly a head and a half taller than she, and he was dressed in his night clothes. But it wasn't this that frightened her, no, not that at all. It was the scars that ran down the left side of his face that made her shudder and want to cry. His left eye was also missing, covered now by scar tissue. It was enough to make any other woman weep in pity for him and wonder what on earth must have happened to him, but not she. No, Rowena would not be about to weep in pity for him, but in pure apology, and she didn't have to wonder what had happened to him. She knew. She knew exactly what had destroyed half of his perfect face, and beneath his shirt, she knew that half of his body was torn and scarred beyond even magical repair for the same reason. Her entire body shook, not knowing what to do. She'd never prepared herself for this. "What the hell are you doing here you… you… _beast_!?" Rowena flinched and raised her hands to block herself from his raised voice. He jumped as well, seeing her arms go up. "You stay away from me! I'll kill you!" She heard his voice shake and saw him reach to his belt and search there at his right hip for a moment, but he seemed to be unable to find his defence, probably a silver knife. His eye flickered around for a moment, looking for something to defend himself with.

He found nothing for a while, but in a moment he focused on something behind her. "Salazar! Grab her!" Suddenly Salazar's scent filled Rowena's consciousness. She'd been so focused on him, that she hadn't even noticed Salazar's approach. Nothing happened, but she heard Salazar's calm steps behind her, slowly getting closer. She never looked away from the panicked man before her. "What are you doing? Grab her! She's dangerous!"

Rowena felt Salazar's hand as it touched her shoulder, his arm behind her neck, and now he stood beside her. "Keith, are you alright? It seems that you know Rowena here. What are you shouting about down here?"

"Why are you touching her? She's a dangerous creature! She's a werewolf!" Rowena cringed into the crook of Salazar's arm. Keith's raised voice frightened her and his words of her, she'd never heard so angrily spoken.

"Yes. And your point being?" Rowena's mind reeled at Salazar's off-handed response. And the question popped into her mind, 'How do they know each other?'

"_My point_? Don't you _understand_? That _thing_ under your arm…" Something dawned on him and his eye widened, and he backed away. "You… you're not sleeping with that _bitch_, are you?" He asked pointing an accusing finger at her.

"I find that word offensive, and would appreciate it if you would not use it in my presence." Rowena was surprised to see how calm he was being about the situation, and how… honest too. Then again, that was just his way.

"Good God, you _are_ sleeping with her! And you're still _alive_?" A disgusted look crossed his face as he looked between Rowena and Salazar.

"As you can see… Unless I look dead to you." Keith had resumed glaring at Rowena with utter hatred and fear by the end of Salazar's sentence. She couldn't stand there for much longer - her legs were going to give out beneath her, and Salazar, being right on cue, decided that he didn't like Keith's stare. "Rowena, why don't you go back to the room. I'll talk with Keith for now."

She gladly did so, wordlessly.

Once back in the room she collapsed at the foot of the bed and grabbed at the bed clothes. Why was he here? Why did he have to be here to ruin everything? She was going to lose everything she'd wanted for so long… and there wasn't a thing she could do about it.

She heard their voices through the oak door, but only caught a few words here and there. "You _idiot_! You _complete idiot_!" "…dangerous creature…" " …crazy!" "…leaving! Right now!"

Rowena shoved her face into the mattress, making a half effort to suffocate herself. Shortly after, though, their voices stopped and she heard the door open. The knob clicked and the hinges made the tiniest squeak as Salazar came in. "He's gone." He sat on the bed and petted her hair, "Are you… okay?"

'No, I'm not okay!' "Yes, I'm… fine." She said, ignoring the voice in her head.

"_How_ fine?" They both knew she wasn't "fine", it really was a useless question, but he felt the need to comfort her, somehow.

"On a scale of one to ten? Ten being the sunniest and finest I've ever felt, and one being… well, not?" She asked, her face still semi buried.

"If you'd like."

Rowena breathed heavily, trying to calm herself down. "I'd say… about a two."

"Ah, _that_ fine." She knew he was trying to cheer her, but she wasn't in a place that cheer was available to her.

There was a long silence and thoughts lingered in both their minds. Salazar wanted only to know how he could possibly _help_ Rowena. He'd never seen her so destroyed in moments. She looked like a dove with broken wings, stripped of it's freedom. She looked like she was _dying_ inside. And indeed she was.

Rowena felt her heart being torn apart again, thinking of Keith and Salazar at once… She couldn't stand the guilt that hung over her like a dark cloud. Her fingers clasped onto the white, cotton blanket on the bed they shared near every night, so that she would not crumble to the ground into a heap, and allow her heart to stop beating then and there.

The utter quiet of the room unsettled Salazar as Rowena stayed inside her head, and he placed his hand on hers, needing to understand, but not knowing what to say.

"I did that to him…" Rowena said in just above a whisper her eyes staring blankly past her left arm, "I did that to him…"

"Who?" Salazar asked cautiously.

Rowena took a deep breath, "K-Keith…"

"His… face?"

She shut her eyes tightly and bit her lip as she took another breath, "And half his upper body… It's all covered in deep, long scars… _I_ put them there…"

"Well," Salazar started. "From the look of the other half of his face, he should be thanking you for improving his looks." Even if that _were_ true, it wouldn't have made her feel any better. The case being what it were, it just broke her heart more. She slid a little closer to the floor, and hung her head, biting her lower lip. Salazar sighed uncomfortably, knowing he'd said the wrong thing, and held her hand tighter, hoping she knew he was there for her.

"I never thought I'd see him again… It's been five years…"

"You… mentioned that a little while ago." He said, recalling the night from a week or so ago when he had said he loved her the first time.

Rowena was silent for a while, trying to sift through all her thoughts ranging from the fact that her claws had destroyed a man she'd loved to what she was going to have to explain to Salazar to what she wanted to forget forever. "Why is he here?" She finally asked.

"He was the rich git I went to talk to last week about funding for the school. Godric's friend."

"Oh…" Rowena said under her breath, "_Great_."

Apparently not quietly enough though, "What's 'great'?"

"Well," She said, "now, I've potentially damaged one friendship or another, and I've scared off the funding for the school…"

"Ah, don't worry." Salazar said, a smile in his voice, "I know another git who has tonnes of money. All rich guys are gits, you know. He doesn't usually spend his money, but he might make an exception."

"Who is it?" Rowena asked.

"Me." This caused them both to chuckle a bit, until Rowena sighed, swept with a wave of fatigue. She gathered her strength and stood up, with the help of the bed post. The blue robe slipped off her and she hung it on the bedpost that had helped her stand, and then crawled onto the bed, on top of the sheets, curled up on her side. "Aren't you cold?" Salazar asked, trying to stop admiring her figure beneath the translucent gown, and make sure she was okay.

"No. Not really." Her voice was sad and exhausted, she hated feeling like that, when she didn't have enough energy to go do something to make her sadness go away, and so it sat like stagnant water in her mind.

Salazar nodded and looked away. He needed to get up and walk for a bit. "I'm going to go make some breakfast." He finally announced after a few moments of quietness.

"Salazar, it's early. Helga won't even be up now and…" her sentence was cut off by a yawn.

He smiled at her, "Well I guess I'll just have to cook something myself, won't I?" Salazar paused, "Would you like me to bring you anything?"

Rowena sighed, "No, I'm not hungry right now."

Again he nodded, and got up. "Then I'll be back in a while. You go back to sleep. Try to get some peaceful rest." He walked around the bed, kissed Rowena's head, and whispered, "I love you." before walking out the door and closing it silently.

When Salazar was out of the room, Rowena's hand slid underneath her nightgown to her shoulder. Her fingers ran over and over the one physical mark she'd gotten from that night those five years ago. She could sometimes still feel the knife as it cut through her flesh and muscle as a wolf, and the blood that she had ignored until she changed back into a human and the wound that had stopped bleeding as an animal, became torn open after the change. Something in her wanted her to believe that Keith had never wanted to hurt her, but it was undeniable now, because of the things she heard him say that night.

"You… _beast_!" "I'll kill you." "You're not sleeping with that _bitch_ are you?" His words rang clearly in her head and as they tumbled around Rowena's eyelids grew heavy and eventually shut, leaving his voice in her head as she fell to sleep once more.


	7. The Potion

7

"I've found it!" Salazar announced as he walked happily into what was to be Rowena's office, come seven months when they would begin accepting applications for the school.

"Well I assume you're not talking about your shirt?" She asked, as she looked up at him from her book, a chuckle in her question.

He looked down by instinct, but once he came around and realized he already knew that he wasn't wearing a shirt, he shook his head, rolling his eyes, but his smile still bright on his face. A bit of paper began to unfold in his hands and he placed it on her open pages, "No, I've found _this_!" It was like watching a child in a candy shop, watching Salazar's excitement at this moment, but there was pride too. Rowena looked down at the paper and read it aloud, under her breath.

"Aconitum lycoctonum, solanum dulcamara, bulleyaconitine A, allium sativum L, ruta graveolens… What is this, Salazar? What are you making with two breeds of aconite, bittersweet nightshade, rue, and… garlic?" Her brow was furrowed as she tried to decide what he was cooking up… well… she hoped he wasn't, per say, cooking _anything_, because only two of the ingredients were not poisonous, and they were… rather harsh on the tongue, as far as taste goes, and had to be used sparingly unless you wanted a very bitter dish.

He was grinning widely, "It's for you. So that you are yourself _all_ the time."

Rowena suppressed the urge to blurt out, "You mean _I _have to take this?" and instead asked her other question, "What do you mean, 'myself all the time'?"

Salazar leaned on her desk and reached over it with his left hand, "Rowena's mind." He tapped her head, "Rowena's body." He tapped her shoulder. "Still Rowena's mind." Again he tapped her head, "Rowena's _other_ body." He placed his hands together, leaning on them, on the oak.

It took Rowena a moment to make the connection of Salazar's thoughts, and once she did, her eyes opened widely and she picked up the parchment excitedly, "You don't mean to say… that you've discovered a way for me to… stop the change?"

He shook his head, "No, but you'll be in complete control when the change happens. It will probably taste disgusting, but if my calculations are correct, it will stop the wolf from seizing complete control of you."

"Can't you add sugar for the tas… You mean you don't _know_ that it will work? Do you know if it won't be poisonous?" Her sentence started in curiosity, but worked into worry. There were three poisonous plants in this potion - aconitum lycoctonum and bulleyaconitine A, also known as aconite or wolfsbane, and solanum dulcamara, or bittersweet nightshade - which could very well kill her.

"Again, no, I don't have experimental evidence that it will work, seeing as you're the only werewolf around here, but the poisons are neutralized out by the rue." He touched her hand to assure her he knew what he was doing. "And as far as sugar goes, I think we should try it as it is before adding anything else to it. Perhaps another time we will test that."

Rowena felt somewhat relieved that Salazar had done his homework on this one, glad that he cared enough to make sure it wouldn't kill her, hell that he cared enough to create the potion at all! The full moon was in three days, and though her heart beat in her usual fear of hurting someone after the transformation, she now felt something new about it… Hope. Hope for change, and excitement that change was possible. A broad smile crossed her face and she looked up into Salazar's eyes, "You really think it will work?"

"Well of _course_ I think it will work," He said, his humorous arrogance in his voice as he stood up from the desk and began to make his way around it, "I mean, _I_ made it. But I suppose we'll find out in three nights, won't we?" Salazar laughed. He kissed Rowena happily, snatched back his parchment, and practically danced out of the room.

She watched him as he left and smiled more brightly than she had in ages. It wasn't something she'd have thought possible, but there it was, a potion that would calm the beast inside her the once a month is was allowed to come out. 'Indeed we will find out in three nights… and maybe then I will be free of this creature!' And at the thought, she returned to her novel.

*****************************************************************

Salazar was sitting, absentmindedly doodling in the air with his wand, the tip leaving gold ribbons of light in it's trail, and Rowena paced, nervously. They were in a room in the dungeons, almost empty, aside from a couch and a fireplace. At the moment, they had a quiet fire burning, the soft crackle of the wood giving off a calming emotion, or so it would if this were not the night it was. Rowena's bare feet made little noise to interfere with the fire's music.

She was scared now. The potion that Salazar had created for her, she'd taken twenty minutes before, and he'd been right, it tasted awful. She could still taste it at the back of her throat, but though she had taken it, she still didn't know that she wouldn't turn into the monster she always did on the full moon.

Though she protested, Salazar had insisted upon staying in the room with her so that he could know if his work bore any fruit, and now, Rowena feared for his life. It wasn't that she didn't have faith in Salazar's thoughts on the potion, it was simply that they had no proof that she wouldn't leap on him and tear his throat out, and that fact alone made her stomach turn.

"You think we should get you a dog bed?" Salazar asked still gazing at his writing in the air before him.

Rowena turned and looked at him one eyebrow raised quizzically. "A dog bed?"

"Yea, for when you're a wolf. That way you could have a more comfortable place to sleep, I mean it can't be comfortable sleeping in a bed designed for a human, if you're shaped like a wolf." He was still watching the golden stream as he spoke again in a tone that Rowena couldn't decipher. It sounded half like a serious suggestion, but she could see him being honestly serious about such a thing. None the less, she couldn't come up with anything to say in response, and so just stared at Salazar, questioning. At the silence from Rowena, Salazar looked up at her, "What?" He was grinning like a mischievous child.

"I am unimpressed." She said smiling back at him and going to lean against the wall opposite him, crossing her arms under her bust beneath the silvery robe she was wearing that she could easily slip out of so that she didn't get caught in the clothes and end up tearing them to shreds.

Salazar chuckled and went back to his drawing, and Rowena closed her eyes to let her mind wander a little. She realized that her birthday was coming up. In seven days it would be November 21st, and she would be 25 years old. She was glad to have made it thus far. Her mother hadn't made it much farther. She'd had Rowena at age 14 and had died twelve years later, cutting her life off at 26 years. Rowena's years had doubled since the last time she was seen by her father. Just over two months ago, it was the fifth anniversary of the beginning of her nightmare… Shaking her head, she opened her eyes, her mind was wandering down a dark path she didn't want to follow right now. She began pacing again.

"Aren't you cold?" Salazar asked lowering his wand to his lap for now. "I don't see how you could be warm. I'm cold just watching you."

"No, I'm warm. I'm never cold. It's a side effect. Haven't I said this before?"

"Yes, you have… I just have trouble believing that you're not cold in bare feet and a half-open, paper-thin robe and nothing else." He shivered and rubbed his arms, as if he felt colder than he did.

Rowena shrugged and continued pacing. She felt the sun just above the horizon outside. It would soon be gone, it's last dying rays lighting the world until the moon was ready to take it's place and cast an eerie glow over the land forcing her into the change. The sunlight on these nights for many years had been her humanity, chased off the end of the earth by the full moon which was the creature inside her. The feral beast that carried no compassion, no human feeling, just the need to feed and occasionally anger. Tonight it was supposed to be different, but she didn't know. She was worried sick that she was going to hurt Salazar, and escape into the castle to hurt Helga and Godric, but here she was, inside this room, and it was too late to run to the woods and hope she would make it before the moon rose.

Salazar was talking again, but she was too preoccupied to react to him. Her transformation was coming, mere minutes away. She closed her eyes tightly and rubbed her temples to try to calm herself, lest her tension cause the potion to backfire. "Are you alright?" Salazar asked, breaking his train of thought.

"No." She answered shortly, shaking slightly as she walked back and forth across the stone floor. He didn't press, guessing what was happening now, but he did clutch his wand tightly, but close to his body so that it seemed inconspicuous. The last thing he wanted to do was insult or hurt Rowena, but he also knew that if his potion _didn't_ work, he had the chance of dying, and needed to be prepared for her to attack him.

She was trembling all over and she stopped walking to press a hand on the wall. It was time. Quickly she shed the silver robe praying silently, 'Please don't let me hurt him.' And the change began to come over her.

The thick black and grey hairs grew from her skin completely covering her body. Her feet and hands began to grow shorter, and wider, black pads forming on their bottoms, claws growing out from where nails had been. At the same time, her spine and face lengthened, growing out from her tail and jaw bones, and her joints began to move. First her legs changed, shortening and shifting, with the pelvic bone, forward, her knees changing to suit the running wolf's legs, then her arms did the same, moving backward. She fell forward onto all fours. Her mouth became larger and when opened revealed a row of clean, sharp daggers of teeth, equipped to kill with one bite. The last things to change were her blue eyes shifting their position on her face, going through blue, then green, then to yellow, and finally her pupils grew larger, to match the rest of her body.

She was sleek. Her body strong. She was lethal and dangerous. And even from across the room, Salazar could see how _big_ she was. She was probably as big as he himself, if not larger. It was only now that he really realized how much danger he could be in. Rowena turned to look at him, not quite sure what to make of the situation. She felt… calm. She saw him, smelt him, heard him, but she had no desire to attack. It was an odd sensation, having all the senses of the wolf at full power, and being in control of it all, not having to feed so desperately. There was still a dull hunger and wildness at the back of her mind, but it wasn't overwhelming. She'd never felt anything like this, but she was still cautious. It could be temporary. It could only last for a small amount of time.

Her eyes flicked around, looking to Salazar, then the room around her, trying to take in the experience before it was gone. She looked to the door, and thought about putting Salazar between her and it, so she took a hesitant step. Salazar's heart was beating quicker than normal, but he kept his cool, calm look up, trying to make her feel as comfortable as possible, and if she were in control, with her mind inside that body, he didn't want to hurt her feelings by making her think he was afraid of her. She had enough issues with her self esteem that she didn't need, he didn't feel the need to push her farther. His fingers could help but flinch though, as she took a few more steps around him. It was only the fear in her movements that made him sure his potion was working… well… that and the fact that he wasn't dead yet.

Rowena felt relieved somewhat by the time she got around Salazar. Firstly, she hadn't felt the need to attack him. Secondly, she was still in control. Thirdly, he hadn't run away screaming, but if he wanted to, he didn't have to pass her to do so. She was glad that he didn't seem to be frightened though. She could hear his pulse, but it wasn't anything like what Keith's had been - his had been racing at a mile a minute - Salazar's was just… a tad quicker… Like the tempo had gone up two counts, rather than thirty. 'I've got to move toward him. I've got to test this, or I will be afraid forever.' And she took a slow step toward him, her paw moving like it was testing water.

He was watching her intently, taking in her every move. To him it was graceful, fluid, natural, even… beautiful. He smiled at her as she approached and tapped the couch beside him. "You want to come up? Come on, girl. Up." He laughed at himself talking to her like she was his pet.

Had she been able to speak, she'd have told him she was unimpressed, again, but instead, she put one, then two huge, black paws onto the couch and stepped onto it next to him. She sat down. Salazar attempted to subtly sit straighter, and in her mind she laughed. 'Mad that I'm taller than you now, are you?' While in his mind, he thought, 'I will _not_ be shorter than a woman. Be she human or wolf, I will _not_ be shorter than her.'

"Uh… Good girl." He said and reached out cautiously to pat her on the head. It seemed a long moment, the moment right before he touched her, it was a make-or-break moment, and more than anything, he wanted to make it. There were almost lightning sparks felt between his hand and her fur as he got closer and closer, millimetre by millimetre, until they finally touched. His palm pressed lightly against the top of her motionless head, right between her perked ears, and they shared a silent sigh of relief that everything was alright. Her fur was course and thick, but soft. He scratched her head causing her ears to go back and her eyes to close. Salazar laughed, "Like that, do you?" Her tail beat softly against the couch. In her mind, she had to laugh at herself, partly from pure relief and partly at her antics. She'd never gone through this kind of treatment as a wolf before (of course, she'd never been in her right mind as a wolf either…), and she felt slightly childish for making such innocent and happy motions to his attentions, it felt good though.

She allowed herself to relax even more, now, and yawned. Salazar jumped and brought his hand back as her jaws began to open, but as soon as he realized that he was in no danger by a yawn, he laughed a tad nervously, "My what large, sharp, dangerous teeth you have, my dear… You really have _no idea_ how terrifying it is to look into a wolf's open mouth…" Again he chuckled and patted her, no hesitation this time, she gave a bark of sorts in understanding and agreement. Then Rowena laid herself down so that her head rested across his legs and Salazar stroked her, soothing her into a lull. She closed her eyes and felt more calmed. Everything about the room was calming, the fire, still going, but slowly dying, his gentle touch, the constant beat of his heart and hers, the comfort of her position. It was all so soothing.

Slowly, slowly, Rowena felt herself drifting off into sleep, and soon enough she was gone. Salazar remained awake though for a little while longer.

There was complete silence for a while, save for the breathing of a wolf, a man, and a fire, but he was sure she was asleep now. "She's so… beautiful… Keith Talbot was a complete moron to let this one go… A complete…" he yawned, "…idiot." He let his head fall back against the couch and closed his eyes. When they both awoke, she would be naked beside him, a woman again, and they would both be alive and well, so in that, he took comfort. "So beautiful…" And he too was asleep at last.


	8. Over A Sack of Flour

8

The coldest days of winter were setting in - the snow was piling outside - and it was Christmas time. It was in the air all around. Down in Hogsmeade, windows were hung with holly and people hummed or sang down the street. Around some corners, one could find a couple sharing a kiss beneath mistletoe. Children ran about, chased by one laughing parent or another, and though the cold bit cheeks and noses, it certainly seemed to have an opposite effect on the hearts of the people. The town was not of wealthy people, but they seemed to band together in such times of celebration. It was even a fact that this one time a year the people would gather together for a yuletide feast. Of course, it wasn't until the beginning of December that Rowena found out it was Godric, Helga, and Salazar who always held the feast.

This made sense, when she thought about it, as they did have the space and money, but she hadn't thought about it until she'd been commissioned by Helga to come shopping for food and decorations for the entrance and dining hall. At that precise moment in time, she was free from Helga's sight, and had been sent to buy some flour, as Helga had just run out, and still needed some for breads.

As she walked she held a cloak tightly around her, the hood up to cover her ears, and looked into shop windows as she passed. Down the road she heard a choir singing, and could only assume that it was a group from the church. It got her to thinking.

She'd long since resigned to the idea of helping to run a school and teaching, and she'd gotten excited too. For once in her life she felt like she was going to have a purpose in something, something that depended on her alone… Closing her eyes two seconds, she took a cleansing breath to rid herself of the creeping memory that threatened to ruin her day. When she opened her eyes she spotted Salazar walking out of a shop just down the street, smiling, a bag held within his hand. She quickened her pace to meet him, though he had not seen her yet.

"Salazar!" Rowena piped, causing Salazar to spin quickly and hide the bag behind his back. She chuckled.

"Oh, hello Rowena." He leaned over and kissed her forehead, keeping his cool even though he'd been caught with something - she didn't know what yet. "What are you doing down here?"

"I have been sent to buy some flour, and enjoying my small moments of freedom." She laughed lightly, her cheeks pink in a pretty flush. "I might ask you the same question, and dare I enquire as to what you're hiding behind your back?"

Salazar smiled, "I am shopping for some gifts, so you may inquire about the object in the bag all you like, but I'm not going to tell you." He was glad he'd been prepared to meet any of the others in Hogsmeade before he'd set out that day, and so just smiled smugly at Rowena instead of panicking about what to say.

She eyed him a little suspiciously, but eventually shook her head and laughed, still holding the grey, wool cloak closed. "Alright then…"

"Well, you'll be heading to Dillinger's for that flour, won't you? Isn't that… way on the other side of Hogsmeade?" He eyed her with smirking suspicion.

"Ah… you see… I'm taking the long way, to… avoid Helga." She looked up and to the left, smiling as she admitted her plan.

"Oh, so you're shirking?" Salazar laughed, casually sliding the bag into a pocket of his cloak.

"No! Of course n- okay, yes." They shared another laugh in understanding.

"Well, I can't say I blame you," he said, his laughter calming, "she often overdoes this whole Christmas thing."

"Really? How so?" Rowena asked as she began to walk down the street again.

"Well, last year… that was a disaster!" He shook his head following her example and walking beside her. "She had this wild idea to hang a ton of mistletoe and charm it so that when both parties standing beneath it noticed, they actually had to kiss to leave the spot." He shuddered slightly. "Do you know how many times I got caught under those blasted hanging plants? And with the most undesirable people. The very old women in town, the very young women in town… Godric… Ugh." Again he shuddered, and Rowena chuckled slightly. "It isn't funny!" he insisted. "I was just glad that half of the time the other person didn't notice."

Her smile brightened and she shook her head, thinking of poor Salazar trapped under mistletoe with some old woman, trying desperately to move before she looked up. "Well, hopefully, she learned from last year what a bad idea that was."

"Hopefully…" There was a bit of silence for a moment or two, then, "Perhaps I should start up a 'Daring' game this year…"

"A what?" she asked curiously.

"A 'Daring' game. We boys used to play it as teenagers. One boy would 'dare' another to do something crazy or dangerous, and if that boy didn't get caught, injured, or too afraid, upon completion of the daring act, that boy would then 'dare' another one. I remember once 'daring' Godric to climb onto the roof of the Smiths' house." He laughed. "Unfortunately for him, Mr. Smith was still awake and working at the time. The rest of us ran, but Godric had to climb a tree to hide."

Rowena laughed along with him. "I remember some of the boys doing that when I was a young girl."

"Ah, but I can't see you doing such folly things."

"No… I was too busy with my schooling."

"Schooling? Wow, your childhood sounds boring." They laughed once again.

"Well, I was raised wealthy in Greece 'til 12. Of course I was in school." She chuckled, "I was too busy learning arithmetic, spoken and written Latin and Greek, and music for such things."

"Greece, hey? I thought I heard the slightest accent in your voice, but I couldn't place it." A small bout of alarm went off in Rowena's head. She thought she'd completely hidden her accent, so that she couldn't be traced. Then she calmed herself, it didn't matter anymore. It had been too long, certainly. "Born Greek… I'd never have guessed. I mean, now that I know, of course, I can see some of the characteristics, but I'd never have guessed on my own."

"Well, actually," she started, "I was born in Spain, when my parents were holidaying, and then we moved back to Greece."

"Ah, I see. So were your parents married?" He was suddenly very curious to hear about her past, which was so unknown to him.

"Yes. They were indeed married." She shifted, a little uncomfortable talking about her parents, but he didn't notice, as she'd intended. She knew of his past, and she knew he knew virtually nothing about hers, 'He has a right to know something,' Rowena's mind argued with her discomfort.

"So is your mother Greek?"

"Yes. How'd you guess?" She smiled, watching her feet as she moved around a snow bank.

"Well Ravenclaw isn't exactly a Greek name." He chuckled.

"Ah, of course. Well, my father is English - surprise, surprise - and met my mother in Greece on a trip, and decided to stay thereafter. He brought his money and built a home for her in Argos."

They walked a little farther and up to Dillinger's General Store. Rowena reached for the door, but Salazar opened and held it for her. "Merci beaucoup, Monsieur."

He chuckled, "Don't tell me you speak French too."

She laughed with him, "And Spanish."

"Jeez, how many languages do you speak?"

"Well… there's Latin, Greek, French, Spanish, a bit of Italian, and, of course, English," she said as she picked up a sack of flour that must have weighed half as much as her.

"Dear God, you speak English? I never thought… Oh, please, say something! In English! I've never heard anyone speak it before!"

Rowena nudged him lightly with her shoulder, laughing. "Shut up, Salazar."

"Oh my goodness! And what does that mean?"

She ignored him and pulled the money, that Helga had given her to buy the flour with, out of her cloak pocket and handed it to the Dillinger boy who was running shop that day. "Thank you."

Salazar held the door for her again as they left. "I could carry that for you."

"I can do it myself," she said, knowing she probably could use his help, but not wanting to lose independence.

"But you don't have to. Use me as a working beast while you can, I won't do it forever. Besides, you don't want to wear yourself out." She laughed at his instance.

"I don't think you're a beast at all, but really, I can do it myself." She struggled slightly but moved the bag to her right hip to carry some of the weight, holding it with both hands, and smiled at Salazar, having proven herself right.

"Alright," Salazar resigned.

They walked for a while, Salazar, staying close to her left side, ready to steady her should she stumble. "You know…"

Rowena looked up at him for a moment, then back ahead, so that she didn't walk into anything. "What?"

"I really know so little about your life. I mean, I feel like I've known you forever, but… there's so much about you that's still a mystery."

"Well…" She said a tad hesitantly, preparing to open up to him. For a moment she wondered why that was so hard for her - opening up. It wasn't just with him though, with anyone… He was probably the person who knew the most about her though, aside from herself, her parents, and… Keith. She shook the thoughts and continued her sentence, her tone light, despite what was going on in her head, "What do you want to know? Please, ask away."

"Tell me about your mother."

"Ah… well…" Rowena took a slow breath, to calm her heart which leapt to her throat at his question. "She was loving, and good to me… as a mother should be… Ah… We used to go to the Temple of Demeter together." She smiled, remembering the days as they turned a corner. "We went while my father went to worship Zeus. We…ah… we would… take wreaths of poppies to leave in her honour." Rowena looked down her tone dropping a bit, "She used to say I looked just like her as a child." She quieted down then, not wanting to say more. Rowena missed her mother dearly, and talking about her, though it was of the good times, was still very painful.

He took note of her discomfort and asked another question. "So… not that I mind, but… Greece is… rather… far from here. What are you doing all the way in Scotland?"

"Oh… Well… Ah…" Rowena swallowed, "I… When I was 12… That was the year that I first changed… My father didn't take too kindly to it… And I've been running since…" She looked down, and shifted the weight of the flour.

Salazar was silent for a moment, trying to sort that into his head, "So… you've just been running? Since you were 12? You can't tell me you've been running for thirteen years."

"Well, I stopped for two years when I was 18... With Keith."

He nodded, "But surely, you can't still be afraid that your father is out there looking for you? Why would he?"

"I ran into him once when I was 16, narrowly escaped, because I was in some large city in Romania… Bucharest, I think… but I could be wrong." They were back on the road headed to the castle, 'I'm not afraid of him finding me, anymore,' she thought, 'I'm afraid to hurt someone else…'

"Didn't…" He paused. "Forgive me if this sounds… harsh… but, didn't your mother try to stop him? Didn't she have anything to say about his chasing you out?"

Rowena swallowed again, and bit her lip for a moment, then took a deep breath to answer him. "My mother… wasn't… around at that point…"

"Oh… I'm sorry."

"No… It's alright… You didn't know."

"Well, I'm still sorry."

They walked in silence until they reached the castle, Rowena's mind wandering her past, Salazar's wishing he'd asked something else - anything else.

Salazar, once again, grabbed the door (which had long since been repaired of its scars), and allowed Rowena to walk through the door before him. "I can take the flour to the kitchen if you want to avoid Helga." He offered after closing the door and pulling his hood off.

"Oh, no, that's alright. Helga's got a lot to do, I've avoided her long enough. She'll need my help." Rowena nodded, affirming herself.

"Well…" Salazar ran his fingers through his hair, with his other hand stuffed into his cloak pocket. "I could come help, if you'd like."

Rowena looked at him, one eyebrow raised, "Do you really want to?"

"Well, if you want me to come help…"

She laughed, "That's a 'no'. It's alright Salazar, don't worry about it."

"Alright, if you're sure…" He waited for her to protest, but she did not. "I'll be in my office, avoiding her as best I can."

"Don't forget to lock the door, if you really want to get out of helping her." Rowena's blue eyes were light with her smile and Salazar, taking a step toward her, stole a kiss, making them even brighter.

"And I'll become deaf." His smile was sly as he began to stride away, leaving Rowena, surprised, but smiling, to head to the kitchen where Helga waited for her flour.

As Rowena turned into the kitchen, she was greeted by a hyped and smiling Helga. "What took you so long, dear?"

"I'm sorry, I got a little distracted." She heaved the sack onto a counter top and turned back to Helga, "So, what can I do for you now?"

"Well, I had an idea to repeat something from last year with mistletoe."


	9. An Interesting Awakening

9

Rowena wished she'd taken up Salazar's offer to help with the Christmas preparations, seven days prior, but it was a little late now. She was completely exhausted, never before in her life had she seen so many red and green ribbons and pastries and ornaments. "If I ever have to make another wreath of holly, I will scream. Or I'll attempt to force enough energy out of myself to try." She quietly vowed to herself as she dragged her half-dead body to Salazar's bedroom, where she'd set out the potion for herself that afternoon - as Salazar was still hiding in his study most of the days. Not even her impending change gave her any extra energy, she was burnt right out.

She opened the door and almost fell inside. Yawning, she closed the door behind her, and went to sit on the bed. Her hand reached for and opened the copper flask on the table on what had become her side of the bed, and, taking a breath for preparation, she downed the potion within. The awful burning taste had not been any better than before, but she was more confident in the potion's abilities to overpower the beast within her, so it was worth it.

Another yawn made her eyes water, and she stood to undress herself. She reached her hands behind her to release the knot that kept her heavy dress on, and allowed it to fall off her shoulders to the floor. That in itself, relaxed her a bit, having the weight of the winter dress off of her body. Then she pulled a night shift over her head and wrapped a robe over it.

Her entire being was fatigued. Rowena knew that she was supposed to go to the room that she and Salazar had designated for her changing, so that she could become a wolf where no one would find her and she could rest assured that she wasn't going to hurt anyone if the potion didn't work, but she was just so dog-tired, she sat back down on the bed.

It was so warm and inviting, she couldn't help but put her head down on the pillow. 'Salazar will wake me up if I fall asleep.' She assured herself, 'I'm not that tired anyway…' But almost before the thought was complete, she was dead asleep.

Not half an hour later Salazar came in, smiled at the sleeping Rowena, and put a blanket over her, having completely forgotten what the day was, then undressed for bed, and crawled in next to her, falling asleep almost as quickly.

Several hours later, deep into the night, something half-roused him from his sleep into that half-dreaming half-conscious state. He felt comfortable, laying against something soft, and he mumbled to himself, not quite aware of what he was saying. "Warm, furry, warm… furry?" He opened his eyes and he barely managed to not jump up and yell in fearful shock. Rowena was asleep next to him, but she wasn't the woman he'd climbed into bed with. He reached back behind him for his wand, should anything happen, and groped blindly for it on the bedside table, not once taking his wide eyes off her. 'Goddamn! Where is it?' he thought as he searched. The quote, "Let sleeping dogs lie." crept into his mind, and took on a whole different meaning now.

If she was sleeping on the bed, she'd more likely than not, forgotten to take the potion - as far as he knew. That meant that he'd gone to bed with a dangerous animal, and not known it. His worries stretched from, 'I have to do this inconspicuously, or the wolf will see it and get angry and kill me faster… or slower… I'm not sure which is worse!' to 'If there's a tiny sliver of a chance Rowena took her potion, let her not be hurt seeing me go for my wand… Her self-esteem is low enough…' Mind torn between either of them getting hurt, Salazar reached, attempting to not move any part of his body, but that arm behind him, eyes always on Rowena.

Rowena huffed and moved slightly, Salazar froze, mutely begging her not to wake up. That could possibly - and would probably - end badly, especially if she saw how frightened he was at that moment. He tried to slow down his heart by breathing deeply, and then he began reaching for his wand again. 'Of course I would leave it on the far side of the nightstand.' His thoughts were rueful, then his finger brushed the smooth polished wood, and instead of being able to then grab the thing, merely from his brush, it rolled right off the edge. 'DAMNIT!' Salazar's heart stopped, it was like the feeling one would get at the top of the stairs when one foot slips and the knowledge that they're going to fall and it cannot be stopped, grips the mind in dread. His mind panicked not knowing what to do.

The sound of wood hitting stone seemed to echo in the room where you could have heard a pin drop, and he wasn't the only one that had heard. Rowena's ears pricked and her yellow eyes opened sleepily. She blinked a couple of times, bringing herself into focus and looked at Salazar - whose heart was racing a mile a minute. He smiled at her, as convincing a calm smile as he could force, but apparently she saw through it and tilted her head.

It seemed to hit her - what was going on - when she went to open her mouth to ask, "What's wrong?" and barked instead. She near jumped, startled by herself, as she realized that she'd changed into a wolf, while lying in bed next to Salazar. He _did_ jump. Rowena began to panic.

'_God!_ Why didn't he wake me?' She thought as she tried to move away from him, but struggled with the sheets that had been tucked around her human form, and tangled her legs now along with her night dress and robe, which had been loose enough not to tear, but were too small and incorrectly shaped for her wolf body. '_Damnit!_ Stupid clothes! Stupid bed! Stupid _me!_ Why didn't I go when I was awake?'

While Rowena was distracted, Salazar made a quick backward grab for his wand and put in on the bedside table, close enough so that he could reach it with no problem, and then tried to settle her so that she would not hurt herself or tear his skin in the struggle. "Rowena, calm down. It's okay. Everything's fine." He briefly wondered if he were really speaking to just her, or if his heart needed the calming as well.

She felt that her claws were too close to him, and though she wasn't a savage beast, she could still kill or hurt him by complete accident with those claws. 'I couldn't live with myself if I hurt him in any way! Move, Rowena, move! Get off the bed! Goddamn! Can't get out of these bloody sheets or this stupid gown! GAH!' Her back feet kicked against the bed clothes, trying desperately to pull them off, and she whined in not only discomfort, but fear.

"Rowena, settle down, you're just going to make things worse. Just lay still." He attempted to pull the covers off her, but she was still struggling frantically, and he couldn't get a hold on them. "Rowena, stop panicking. Everything is okay. Just stop struggling. Shhh, it's okay. It's okay."

She was beginning to let loose the blankets, but that was making things more difficult for escaping, because the more slack she had, the easier it was for her paw to get tangled again. Panting and whining she slowed her movement, having gathered a small bit of calm, enough to straighten her thoughts a bit.

Her legs were shaking, her eyes wide, her fur on end, all as a result of the sudden wakefulness and adrenaline coursing through her body. Rowena attempted a few more kicks at the sheets, then lay utterly still, thoroughly exhausted.

Salazar reached again, over Rowena's figure, and pulled at the blanket wrapped around her. It came off with little effort on his part, then he turned, slowly took up his wand, and placed the tip on the seam of the robe, "Incarats." he commanded softly, and the robe split itself off of her. He grabbed the robe's pieces and cast them behind him to the floor, then repeated the process with the shift. Almost as soon as she was free, Rowena moved off the mattress and lay, still shaking, on the floor.

Propping himself on one arm, he looked over the edge of the bed to the black wolf laying there. "Come now, I haven't gotten a dog bed yet. You can't sleep on the floor." He smiled that coy smile he so often bore and Rowena looked up at him with one question in her eyes: "Are you _completely_ out of your_ mind_?" But Salazar did not notice the question, and patted the bed beside him, still. "Up, girl."

When she did not move, he pulled the bedclothes over her half of the bed and himself, and patted again. "That's better, isn't it? Please, Rowena, it's cold up here."

She stared at him for a while longer, assuring herself of his seriousness and analyzing the new situation. With the comforter and sheets between them, it would be safer for him, and more comfortable for her… but only if she slept on her stomach or her right side… The right side, she decided, was safest. Nervously, she got to her paws and jumped gracefully onto the bed, despite her still shaky legs.

With her heart beating erratically and her eyes flickering around, she lay down, her back to Salazar, and felt his hand gently placed on her shoulder. He had managed to calm himself enough to bring down his heart and hoped that she would feel that and thus calm herself, perhaps remembering only him being calm rather than frightened of her.

It may have taken over an hour, but slowly and surely, her breathing and heart-rate slowed and she fell asleep, Salazar watching her all the while in wonder, thinking and thinking, never speaking a word. He was sorely tempted to sneak into her head and see that she was dreaming well, but respected her too much to do so, and thus just stroked her a little and allowed his thoughts to swirl.

He'd thought that it would be at least a month before he got up the courage for his plan, but she needed it, and she needed it almost imminently. She deserved it, 'And really, what's stopping me?' Salazar asked himself, coming up with no answer. 'Tomorrow then. I'll do it tomorrow.'


	10. It's Quite a Proposal

10

She'd managed to escape Helga's clutches for the day, due to illness that was only half a lie, and she hugged a cloak tightly against the cold out in the woods where Salazar had gone walking with her (by her request). He kept one hand stuffed into his pocket and his other arm held Rowena close to him, trying to block the wind that tossed his hair across his forehead some. It was a comfort to have him with her on the days after becoming the beast inside her, because it confirmed that he wasn't leaving because he thought the same of her that she did, and thus she asked him to walk with her that day, needing to be out of the crushing sweet scent of the castle.

Rowena was thinking about the events of the night past and trying to plan ahead so that it would never happen again. That morning, before she'd gone out walking with Salazar, she'd went to see the room that she was supposed to go to every full moon, but had, for some reason, been unable to find it. It was quite frustrating, because she'd been sure that it was on the seventh floor opposite that hideous tapestry, it was not. She sighed.

"What's wrong?" Salazar asked, breaking the silence for the first time since they'd begun walking.

"Oh, nothing." She said, keeping her eyes on the path before her feet. "Just… I think I've forgotten where my… wolf-room is…" He was caught between laughter and concern. "What do you mean, you've forgotten where it is? It's on the seventh floor opposite an enormous tapestry depicting Barnabas the Barmy attempting to train trolls for the ballet."

She furrowed her brow, becoming frustrated further with herself. "That's what I thought, but when I went looking for it this morning, it wasn't there. Don't laugh!" She defended, hearing a slight chuckle from him - barely covered by a cough. "It really wasn't there. You can go check for yourself later!"

"Alright…" Salazar said, and searched for something to change the subject with, seeing the course of conversation going in a bad direction. "So… Do you think you're going to like the Christmas celebration? I mean, seeing the product of all your work?"

Rowena smiled lightly, "Yes, I suppose… but I'll like it better, I think, when it's over. If the great hall could smell any more like gooseberries and pine, I should expect the room itself would expire from its own bitter sweetness."

He laughed and rubbed her shoulder. She let her head lay against him and sighed contently. "Well, what about the school? You haven't spoken much about your interest or lack there of in the idea."

"Nor have you." Rowena pointed out.

"Touche, but I asked first."

Shaking her head, she chuckled slightly, "Well, it will be interesting to have children around and I think it will certainly be a pleasure to teach them. I'm a little unsure of how well I'll do the job, but hopefully it will be simple enough."

"You'll be a wonderful professor, my Wren. I'm personally more worried about how we're going to get the word out about the school. I mean, the purebloods won't be a problem, but, we'll have to go searching for the half-bloods and muggle-borns. It's going to be quite a task."

"True enough… And relying on word of mouth may get us burned at the stake…"

"Exactly. I don't know how Godric intends to manage that, but we'd better discuss it soon."

"When are we going to discuss who will be teaching what classes?" Rowena asked, her mind branching off, "Just because I do have a knack for Arithmancy and Defence Against the Dark Arts, and I wondered if I might propose an idea to Godric, for an extra curricular class."

"I should think that we won't be discussing that until after the holiday season, in January some time. What class were you thinking of suggesting?"

"I think that a choir would compliment the school. When I was in Greece we had a choir, and private vocal lessons for those who desired them."

"Well, that's all good and fine for a decently sized town in Greece… but… we're hardly a village, and in Scotland. Where are we going to find a teacher for that kind of an operation?" He asked, trying to get her to think logically. They'd managed to throw together enough money to fund the school, including work tables, books, materials, parchment, and quills (which they had yet to finish buying) between Godric, Helga, and himself (as Rowena had no money to contribute), but where would they find someone to professionally teach young witches and wizards to sing, and how would they pay that person? He did not expect her answer.

"I was thinking that, maybe… I could teach it." She stopped and leaned against a tree, looking back at him, with an expression asking of approval. "I told you last week that I took music classes when I was in school."

He opened his mouth to protest, but remembered she had mentioned it, so instead stuffed his other hand into his pocket, smiling curiously, and said, "You? Teach a choir? You'll have to prove to Godric that you've had some kind of training in it."

Rowena smiled excitedly. "I can do that. Would you like to hear?"

Raising his eye brow, he walked to lean against another tree opposite her on the path and gestured with a hand, "Please, the stage is yours. Impress me."

She stood from her leaning position to straighten herself and took a deep breath, right down to her diaphragm, and an angel choir seemed to fill the forest around, "Cloches chretiennes pour les matilnes, Sonnent ou cour d'esperer encore! Angelus angelises d'aurore! Las!" He was taken aback by the utter power in her musical voice, the crescendo and decrescendo, the fluidity, the emotion. "…matines abolies. Je ne vis plus que d'ombre et de soir; Les las angelus pleurent la mort, et…" On her notes, he hung, with the rest of the forest in absolute silence. Not a winter bird dared sing to compromise her, not a pine needle dared whisper to its neighbour, even the wisps of wind stopped winding through the trees, lest the angel singing of angels in their midst be frightened away by their motion. Salazar stood breathlessly as she finished on a soft, low, resonating "espoir".

For a long moment her voice echoed in his memory before the forest slowly regained its life, but he still stood there, fully shocked, blinking at the waiting, smiling Rowena, with his mouth hanging open slightly.

She stood, waiting for him to say something, waiting for him to either tell her how horrible she was or whether he thought she could teach the class, but he just stood there gaping at her, like a fish. Rowena shifted her weight uncomfortably, and looked around for a moment. "Well?" Her spoken voice, filled with worry, seemed to bring Salazar out f his shock.

"Rowena…" He groped for words. "You… That was… You expect to teach children to sing like _that_?"

Relieved, she laughed, "Perhaps in time, but not quite. I mean, if anyone wanted to take private lessons… Of course, I don't even know if the students will be interested in choral work at all."

"I'm sure some of the students will be interested, and with a voice like that… God… I don't see how Ricky can say no!" He moved forward and embraced her, kissing her softly. A slight touch of pink that had nothing to do with the cold wind appeared on the apples of Rowena's cheeks, and once released from the kiss, she let out a giggle.

"You really think so?"

"No, I know so. Only a man with no ears could possibly pass you up on teaching singing. Why haven't you been singing all the time? You have such a gift."

"Well… I just… I didn't want to draw attention, I suppose…" She looked down to the ground, and shuffled her feet a little bit.

"Ah, I see." He nodded and kissed her forehead. "Well, you can sing for me any time."

"Thank you, Salazar. It's very kind of you to say that." She smiled, blushing thoroughly.

"Oh, I assure you, the pleasure is all mine." Her blush turned a little redder. Salazar laughed, seeing this. "You know, you're quite adorable when you blush." He took her hand, then, and they began to make their way back to the castle.

The wind, that had calmed considerably, was now at their backs, so their cloaks protected them. Once again, Salazar had one hand stuffed in his pocket, holding Rowena's hand with the other. She let her head rest on his shoulder as they walked slowly back. Her eyes took in the scene around them.

The sun was filtering in through the needles of the pine trees and glittering off the fresh layer of snow from the night before. Diamonds seemed to shimmer off the forest floor. Here and there, she could see the tracks of a mouse or rabbit that had scampered across the snow in search of food. The trees stood tall and strong around them, occasionally dumping snow off a branch that was overloaded. Some of the trees' needles were completely coated in ice, giving them a majestic aura that shone like the snow, reflecting light in all directions, causing little rainbows to appear. The air was crisp and frozen, but every sound echoed softly off the ice crystals. Somewhere, not too far off, a chickadee called its tell-tail song, "Chickadee-dee-dee." and it flitted from branch to branch, causing the wood to creak just enough to make the little bird flit to a different branch, 'til it heard no creak and called again, "Chickadee-dee-dee." It was very soothing to be out around the purely natural beauty of it all. And on top of all that beauty, she had, in her opinion, the most wonderful, loving, caring, handsome man in the world walking by her side. Despite the way her body suffered (from sore bones and fatigue), she felt invigorated. Whether it was that she'd sung again after having kept quiet for such a long time, or the fact that Salazar thought her so wonderful, it didn't matter. Rowena felt light and happy and free. Salazar noticed her obvious mood change and pondered for just a while longer quite how to do what he intended.

Rowena sighed, blissfully.

"What?"

"Oh, nothing. I'm just… in high spirits."

"Ah…" Salazar paused for a long moment taking a deep breath, then he let out a huff of laughter.

"Hmm?" Rowena looked up at him.

"I was just thinking…" The left half of his mouth turned up in smile and he shook his head, amused at something.

"Thinking about what?"

"Well, I've told you about Godric and I as children."

She nodded, giving a laugh, "From what I've gathered, you two were quite the trouble makers in your younger years."

"Naturally, of course, but we were also very competitive with each other. Playing games of who could get their father to jump the highest out of bed, who could climb the highest up a tree, who would go the closest to the 'haunted' house in the far side of town. Very silly, sometimes dangerous games, simply to see who was better."

"I certainly hope you've grown out of those." Rowena chortled.

"Well, we grew out of the most of them, but we have a bet every now and then. Four sickles for whoever wins a duel. Or six knuts for whoever can walk the straightest line after drinking five fire whiskeys." He let out a snicker at the last, and lowered his volume a bit. "I always win several more than six knuts when betting that one, since its not hard to convince Godric after he's through three that I'm on my fourth or fifth when I'm only on my first still, and at that point, he can't tell the difference between six knuts and six galleons, but don't tell him that."

Rowena shook her head laughing with him. "That is horrible, Salazar."

"Yea, but I'm the one remedying his ale-head the next day, so, it evens out." She nudged him with her hip, still smiling. "Hey, it's all in good fun." He kissed the top of her head and settled his laughter. "But to get to the point. When we were… oh… eleven or so, we made a bet on a more serious matter." He played with the object in his pocket a little.

"Oh?" asked Rowena, "And what was that?"

"Well, since Godric thought I had no chance of winning this bet, despite his shyness around all girls, he bet me 10 galleons…" He took a breath, nerves building inside him as the butterflies flew about in his stomach.

"He bet you 10 galleons, what?" Rowena was curious as to what would be worth 10 galleons in a bet. That was a lot of money for a mere bet.

Salazar gathered his courage once more. "He bet me 10 galleons that he'd be married before I would."

"Hmm…" Rowena wasn't quite sure what to say about that.

"Do you… want to help me win ten galleons?" Heart leapt to her throat.

'Oh god! Oh dear god!' "Salazar… are you…"

He got down on one knee on the path, the snow instantly soaking through his trousers and he pulled his hand out from his pocket with a small gold ring between his forefinger and his thumb.

Rowena's hands flew to her mouth and she felt tears begin to flood her eyes, her heart leaping and dancing with joy as he said the words, "Rowena Ravenclaw, will you marry me?"

She threw her arms around his neck, her hood falling back as she did so. "Yes! Yes!" Salty tears of sheer elation streamed down her face. She couldn't believe he was asking her to marry him. 'He loves me! He wants me for his wife!' She was unable to think of anything else at that moment, only Salazar and that little ring in his hand. He stood up, taking her with him, and held her tightly. Rowena clung to him, so overfilled with glee, that she just laughed and cried and held him with all her heart, wanting nothing more than for that moment to never end. "Yes, I will, Salazar! I will marry you! Oh god, yes!"

Salazar loosed his hold on her and he let her stand fully on the ground, grinning from ear to ear and kissed her passionately. They stayed like that for what seemed an eternity, the winter wind whipping around them, and their cheeks flushed, their hearts on a cloud. Rowena felt her very soul dancing and bubbling, giddy and excited. When they finally broke, Salazar took Rowena's left hand and slipped the little ring onto her wedding finger, and kissing her briefly, he took her hand and they continued the walk back to the castle.

There could not have been a more perfect moment in time, except there was something in the back of Rowena's mind that had a nagging edge of worry, 'You still haven't told him…' But she promptly ignored that small voice and kissed Salazar's cheek, eager to be his bride.


	11. Do Not Add Sugar

11

Two months had gone by quickly, and preparations for Rowena and Salazar's wedding had rapidly ensued Christmas. Helga had responded with almost as much enthusiasm as Rowena herself had to the proposal.

They had decided to announce the engagement at dinner the very night Salazar'd proposed. Rowena couldn't have stopped smiling if she'd tried. Helga had eyed her suspiciously until after they'd eaten when Rowena looked to Salazar, grinning and bright, and then addressed Helga and Godric. "We have something we'd like to tell you." She said, sliding her right hand into his left under the table. Salazar smiled and took the last sip of wine from his glass.

Helga had sat up straighter and smiled in her motherly way that said she was expecting something wonderful. "Yes?"

Rowena looked to Salazar who looked back at her and said, "Rowena and I…"

"We're going to be married!" Rowena blurted out, her heart still walking on air. She looked to Salazar who was smiling back to her with the very same excitement in his eyes.

Helga clapped her hands together and smiled widely, "Oooo! There'll be so much to do! When? Of course we'll have it a big ceremony here. Who to invite?"

"Helly!" Rowena had laughed. "Why don't we get through Christmas before we start planning too much." Helga let out another girly squeal before she nodded in agreement stating just how exciting it was going to be.

Now the wedding was merely a month away. They'd decided to make it a short engagement, much to Rowena's satisfaction, but there was still so much to do before March 19th. Together, Salazar and she had convinced Helga to just invite a few friends and family members rather than the entirety of Hogsmeade, but they'd only just finished owling the invitations that morning. Salazar, she knew, had already finished writing his vows, but she couldn't figure out what she wanted to say in hers, and it was driving her crazy. Food was still being debated because there wasn't all that much new vegetation yet, as the spring hadn't quite set it yet. The dress she and Helga had picked out for her was still being hemmed at Missus DuPont's tailoring shop. Sighing, Rowena stopped to think of her dress.

Helga and she had poured through designs for hours. "What about this one?" was a common question from Helga who seemed to very much liked dresses that were very decorative, but these made Rowena cringe, for reasons Helga couldn't possibly _hope _to know. Rowena liked simple dresses that showed her neckline but covered her shoulders and had a bit of ruffle to the skirt.

"Hmm… I prefer this one…" She'd often said until they turned a page one day and Rowena's heart just stopped. "This is it."

"This one?" Helga asked, a little surprised.

"Yes. This is the one." The design was floor length with a square cut around the neck. The sleeves of the dress were short and would only just go over her shoulders, but they would cover the scar she had there. The bodice was form fitting over the chest area and down the ribs then began to fan out into the skirt at the waist. In the skirt there were slight ruffles here and there where the material was tucked up with a small white jewel. The actual material of the dress was white silk and she loved the feel of it now that it was mostly complete. Salazar, of course, had yet to see her dress.

Fiddling with her engagement ring, Rowena smiled and looked out at the rainy evening. The full moon flowed in her veins and she had discovered that in order to get to the room in which she would be able to safely change, she had to walk past its place in the hallway three times thinking about what she needed. She'd also discovered that while in the room she could change it to what she wanted. If she wanted water or a window it would appear out of nowhere. It was where she went when she needed to just have time to herself now.

Her potion sat on the table in front of the fire across the room from where she sat in the window sill. Scowling at the little flask she recalled a question she'd asked when Salazar'd first come up with the potion: "can't you add sugar for the taste?" He'd said that they should test it for a few months to make sure it was in proper working order before they experimented with it, and it had worked for four consecutive months now. She looked at the carafe a little while longer before she waved her wand and conjured some honey up from the kitchen.

She walked across the room to the container with the cup of honey in hand. Sinking into a chair, she snatched it up and popped off the lid. About two tablespoons of honey flowed thickly, slowly into the opening before Rowena set down the honey and re-capped the potion and shook it to mix in the sweet taste.

Once she thought the honey well mixed, she took the lid off her flask once more and drank down the potion. Smiling she set it down again. It tasted much better than it had in the last months and she was glad for that.

For a little while she sat there in the comfortable chair and looked into the fire, any moment now she'd start taking her wolf form and just go to sleep, comfortably. She yawned and let her head fall back to the chair and felt the sun's rays disappear from the sky. Rowena took off her robe and the transformation began.

She felt her bones as they cracked and stretched and moved in their sockets, beginning to form the skeleton of a wolf. Black and silver hairs began to grow all over her body and her spine and face elongated. Her teeth and nails turned sharp and long. It was as it had been every year since she was eleven, but it was different from the last few months. Something was wrong. Something was very, very wrong. Her mind wasn't nearly as clear, she felt herself becoming more animalistic, and she got the feeling she was not in control.

Panic swept through her. She'd altered the potion enough to make it ineffective. Her heart began to race in pure fear and the long repressed wolf tore through her mind with fury and hunger. "No! No! This _can't_ be happening!" Rowena's mind screamed, but her voice was gone, the transformation was complete as her eyes changed to yellow and the wolf took complete control.

Inside Rowena thrashed around, angrily, terrified, but the wolf was calmly furious. It stalked about the room thinking, 'Out! I want out! How do I get out?' and growling lowly as it tested it's legs out for the first time in months, as apposed to Rowena using them. It did not listen to Rowena's cries for it to stop and stay in the room, it just kept pacing thinking, 'I need a way out!'

As the words "I need" passed through the wolf's mind, an open door appeared in the wall. "NO!" screamed Rowena, but the wolf growled, "Yes…" and walked out. The door closed behind it and it began to hunt the halls.

The hallways were empty as silent paws fell upon them seeking out prey as the woman in the wolf's head cried and begged to stop where they stood. "Please don't let anyone be up! Diana, please! Diana keep them safe in their beds!" she prayed desperately.

Turn followed turn and they headed down a flight of stairs into more corridors in an endless maze of stone walls and closed doors. Rowena wanted nothing more than for the wolf to get tired and lay down to rest, but it seemed unlikely. The wolf was becoming frustrated with not finding anything to hunt, not even a mouse crossed their path. Corner after corner and still _nothing_. This was a gift for Rowena, but motivation for the wolf.

Long agonizing minutes went by as Rowena held her breath before every turn, and then it happened. The wolf smelled something worth pursuing. Rowena knew the scent. It was a man. She'd prayed for it to be a cat or a rodent, but it was a man, one who she'd been living with, not one of the travellers that occasionally stopped there. It was an earthy and sweet scent. Rowena's begging reared back into a full fledged fit. She screamed in the wolf's head and demanded that it turn tail now, and run, but it did not listen, it seemed to no longer hear her.

She couldn't see him yet, but his scent just got closer and stronger, and Rowena just screamed louder and more desperately inside the wolf's mind as they moved along the corridor. The wolf began to slow it's pace as they approached the corner and listened to the light footsteps of the man around it. "PLEASE! NOT AGAIN! NOT HIM!" The man did not seem to notice that anything was wrong, he did not sweat in fear nor were his steps hesitant. 'This is it…' thought a part of Rowena's mind as she screamed relentlessly at the beast that was her. 'This is where I've come to again.'

Baring its teeth, the wolf ran around the corner and leapt with a snarl at the man who, shocked and frightened, turned just as the claws came into contact with his left cheek, scraping across it, but no sooner did the wolf's feet hit the ground and let out a howl than Salazar shouted, "STUPEFY!" sending her flying backwards into one of the walls. She heard a crack as her head hit the stone, and everything faded to black to the sound of Salazar's voice, "Oh my god! Rowena!"

************************************************************************

Rowena woke groggily with the mother of all headaches. The last thing she remembered was the horrible crack of bone hitting stone. 'Was it a dream?' She opened her eyes to see a high arched ceiling of grey stone. It was fairly light in the room, but she could hear rain pounding on glass. For several moments she could not remember where she was, could not recognise the room… She tried to sit up, but her head spun as she did so, and so she laid back down, placing her hand to her forehead.

Quickly she drew her hand away and gasped as she felt bandage wrapped around her skull. 'It _wasn't_ a dream!' she realized and then she opened her eyes wider as it dawned on her, 'Where's Salazar?!' Rowena turned her head and saw him laying in a bed next to her, asleep. He had four rows of stitches on his cheek, and her stomach turned. She had to look away from him. 'I hurt him… I've done it… I hurt him… God… He'll want nothing to do with me…' Rowena let out a sob and tears, that she hadn't even realized were building up, began sliding down from her eyes. Her old self-loathing reinstated itself and consumed her, eating at her insides. She knew that it was bound to happen eventually, 'but I let myself believe in this illusion that he could love me for what I am and that nothing bad would ever happen to us… Stupid…' "Stupid…" Scolding herself and crying, she slowly sat up and put her feet on the floor, facing away from Salazar. "How could you be so _bloody _foolish?" On her feet now, she grabbed the slip that was folded beside her bed and put it on.

Guilty and defeated, she used the railings of the beds to make her way to the door, passing sleeping Salazar on the way; she couldn't bring herself to look at him. She walked to the door, pressed her hand to it, and whispered, "I'm sorry. Goodbye." And at that, she pushed the door open and headed down to their room.

It was quite the process trying to get down all the stairs, especially when her head was as cloudy as it was, the steps seemed endless and every time a staircase moved, she had to cling to the railing, just to remain upright, though it did nothing for her sense of balance. The entire way she cried quietly, the pain of hurting the one she loved yet again… Again she'd allowed herself to feel secure and safe, and again she'd proven that she couldn't handle that sort of thing.

"God damnit!" Rowena swore as she reached the second floor and leaned with her forehead against the wall, waiting for the staircase to move into place for her to get down. "God damnit… Why? Why didn't you leave at the end of your first month? Why?" She pushed away from the wall and headed down the next set of stairs as it locked itself into place. The revulsion for herself swelled inside her, crashed around her like the waves of the ocean, dragging her down the steps to what had been their room, drowning her. Her throat closed up with the tears she cried, feeling her own shame suffocating her.

"Why didn't you just walk away before you got attached?" Each stair seemed an endless trial she must endure to reach the next and then the next. Her world was crashing as she stepped through the door and headed straight for the dresser not bothering to close the door behind her. She frantically searched for a bag and then began throwing clothes into it, trying to fold them so that she could fit a few more. "So stupid!" Rowena put a warm dress on over the slip, threw on some shoes, then closed the dresser door and pressed her eyes tightly closed. She hit the door with her fist once and left it there as she bawled for a minute and prepared herself, mentally, to leave Hogwarts for the last time. Emotionally… she knew she couldn't prepare for leaving again, so she just let her heart break, as she'd known it would eventually.

Taking a deep breath, she turned around, picked up her bag off the bed, and walked out the door, closing it firmly behind her. It gave her a sense of finality to have it closed to her. She walked down the hallway, every step and breath and sniffle she took echoing off the walls, surrounding her with the sounds of her own self-created agony.

The stairs seemed miles away, but she reached them, and looked only at her feet until the light of the main floor lit the stairs before her. "Wren?" Came a feeble question from above and she stopped in her tracks to look. Salazar stood at the second step, seemingly frozen as she was, looking down at her. By the light of the last torch on the wall, she saw the pain on his face, and she looked away.

"I… I'm sorry." She choked out after a great pause of tense silence keeping her eyes glued to the stair in front of her. "I can't stay… I'm so sorry…"

Salazar opened and closed his mouth several times before swallowing a gulp of air that was suddenly very cold. He looked down to his feet and ran his fingers through his hair. Sickness swept through him like nothing he'd ever felt before. His fiancé was leaving… and the only reason he could come to was that it was because of him. Another cold breath entered his lungs and he fought back tears fiercely. "P-please… don't go…"

Rowena shook her head and shut her eyes, never turning her face toward him. "I can't stay Salazar… you must understand…" She was trembling all over, and the bag in her tightly clenched hand was becoming heavier by the minute, harder to hold.

"But…" Salazar looked up to stop himself from shedding tears. There was a place and time for that, but it wasn't here or now. He had to stop her. "Why?"

She bit her lip and moved up the stairs past him, keeping her eyes down and nearly closed. "You know why, Salazar…" The sound of rain was coming down harder now and shook the windows as it pelted them. That would be good, she could run in that, when not many others could.

"Wren… Please don't leave me…" He sounded like his soul was being ripped out of him, and indeed he felt like it. The last thing Salazar wanted to happen was to have her walk out on him. Especially now so close to the time when they were supposed to be married.

"Salazar… I… I have to. I can't stay…"

"Why not!" He demanded, regaining strength in his voice.

Rowena turned around and looked him in the eyes, tears streaming constantly from hers. "Why _not_? Salazar… just _look at you!_ Look at your face! Don't you even realize what happened? Can't you _see_?" She choked up and turned away from him.

"I…" He stopped, swallowing, hoping - no, praying - he had misunderstood her… "If you never want to see me again… I… I can live with that… but I'll go, you can stay…" Salazar was now looking at the floor.

Rowena too was looking at the floor, her back to Salazar. "I told you that you would hate me…" She murmured, taking a step away toward the front door.

Salazar looked up quickly, "What?"

"Nothing…" She walked on.

"No. Not nothing. You told me that I would hate you? I… I told you Rowena… Never… God!" He came forward and grabbed her shoulder to stop her. "Rowena… I thought… God! I don't hate you! I thought you'd hate _me_!"

She turned around, a baffled look on her face. "_Me _hate _you_? _Never!_ Not in a thousand years! Why would I?" Salazar touched her head, "But… how can you _not_ hate _me_ for that…" She raised her hand toward his face, then drew away, looking down again. "Look at what _I've done_ to you that forced you to protect yourself so…"

Salazar sighed and placed a hand on her cheek, turning her face toward him. "Rowena… It doesn't matter to me. Sure I'll be left with a few scars - no big deal… Is that why you're leaving? Because you scratched me?" She winced at hearing in words what she'd done, but feeling it was much worse than how Salazar put it.

"Salazar… I'm dangerous. I hurt you…"

He looked down and she didn't hear him mutter, "I hurt you too."

"Sure it may be a… scratch, this time… but what if it happens again. And now… I'm sure that Godric and Helga know?" Salazar nodded. "I won't doubt they want me out… What if I hurt _them_? What if I _bite_ one of you? I would _die_ if I changed any of you! You're all too wonderful of people to have such a curse lain on you."

"So are you!" Salazar protested, stopping her in her rant. She stood, shaking, her hands sweating, causing the bag to slip slightly in her hand so she had to re-grip it. "Look, Rowena, I chose to be with you. I chose to become intimate with you. I _chose_ to propose to you. You are my fiancé, my betrothed, and I _chose_ that, knowing full well the risks I was taking. I love you, Rowena. I don't care if you're dangerous, we'll be more careful, I'll find a better room for you, we'll lock it from the outside." He was trying everything he could to make her see that she didn't need to go, that she could stay there and still be safe and loved. "I found your flask in the room next to some honey three days ago, I think-"

"Three _days_?! How long have I been out?" Rowena interrupted, shocked.

"About eight days in total… We didn't know when you'd wake up…" Rowena gasped, not realizing that she'd been unconscious for more than a week. "But I think that the honey's what may have stopped the potion from working. We'll just not experiment with it, just use what works. And isn't it better that Helga and Godric know now, I mean, now they know that they may need to protect themselves from a wolf, and it will be a good thing to consider when we're starting the school. You don't have to leave. Sure, Helga was frightened at first, but she's getting used to the idea of you being a werewolf, and so is Godric. They don't want you to leave either."

"So they tell you…"

Salazar ignored the comment thrown in, "Please, Rowena, my little Wren… my wife-to-be… don't go…"

Quivering, Rowena looked into Salazar's eyes. He was pleading, begging her to stay with him. He needed her, and she could see it. The truth revealed itself in his eyes in that moment. It struck her in the face like a tonne of bricks, making itself so undeniably blatant and obvious that a blind man could have seen it. The truth was… she needed him too, and no matter how far or long she ran, she would always feel a dull aching need for him that would never die until she did. All the risk and all the fear warred against her need to stay and it all happened inside her within minutes of still silence. Neither she nor Salazar moved, they barely breathed, as if should either of them break the silence, they would lose each other forever.

Her heart struggled against her head and he waited in anticipation for her to come to a conclusion. As far as he was concerned, she was staying, for she had not left yet, and he'd left her an open opportunity, and that meant that he had penetrated her fearful need to run, and the desire was crumbling as they stood. "Salazar… promise me something… If I am to stay, I need you to promise me something…"

"Anything." He said without hesitation.

She bit her lip nervously, then took a breath, "If I stay, you have to promise me that if I hurt anyone again… you will let me go."

He cringed inwardly, but held her gaze as he told her, "_If_ that happens… I will let you go… But I will not stop loving you. I will love you, no matter what, and I will do everything in my power to make sure this doesn't happen again. I promise you."

Rowena swallowed in an attempt to keep her voice from cracking in tears. He did care for her, she knew it now more than ever. She knew that it was easy, character-wise, to get down on one knee… but it took much more… so much more to endure the trials of the action when they were so extreme, as they were, and would always be, in her case. Salazar loved her… he really, truly did… either that or he was stupid… but she believed he loved her more than he was stupid (even if she did believe the latter was in him as well). The bag in her hand slipped out of her fingers and she threw her arms around him, being careful of his scarred cheek.

She knew there were to be worse trials ahead… but for now, she couldn't care less.


	12. Vows

12

Months of planning and working and buying and searching and deciding, had finally ended. Everything was set in order and ready to go. All the guests had arrived… every last one of them… dinner was being prepared by the house elves the four had invested in, decorations were up, the Great Hall's perimeter was lined with chairs with a clear dance floor, the podium was set on the higher level of the Great Hall, outside there were rows upon rows of chairs set out facing the lake with an aisle right down the middle. There were light purple and white ribbons creating a rope between the seats and the aisle and outside as well as all throughout the Great Hall, lilacs hung at the back of every chair tied on by the ribbons. The cake was hidden away in the kitchen, just waiting to be brought out. It was all… a bit bigger than Rowena had really wanted, but it was beautiful and lovely none the less.

"Ah!" She gasped as Missus DuPont tightened her dress.

"I'm sorry Miss Ravenclaw, I must 'ave made it a little too tight." Missus DuPont apologized her Scottish accent quite heavy.

"No, don't worry about it. Thank you for your help." Rowena looked at herself in the stand up mirror. The dress was perfect, absolutely perfect - not too extravagant, not too plain, form flattering and as comfortable as could be asked for. The white seemed to glow as she did, her cheeks rosy pink. Missus DuPont finished tying up the ribbon in the back, and stood away from Rowena, who turned around smiling brightly.

"Alright… Well, tha's somethin' new, tha' dress is. The jewels were somethin' I bought years ago and never 'ad a projec' to put 'em on, so tha's somethin' ol'. Somethin' borrowed…" She pulled out a white ribbon and tied it around Rowena's neck, "Now I'll be wantin' that back, ya hear?" Rowena laughed and nodded, her hair long falling over her shoulder. Missus DuPont turned, picked up a beautiful blue and white, butterfly-shaped hair clip, "Turn 'round now then." She did and Missus DuPont pulled back the top layer of Rowena's hair, clipping it back with the hair-piece. "Tha' aught ta do it." She walked around Rowena and looked up into her face, as Missus DuPont was quite a short older woman., and smiled, proud. "Now you look fit ta be married."

Rowena hugged the woman gently, "I'll see you outside then?"

"Aye."

"Thank you so much." Rowena ran her hands down the dress once as she pulled away from Missus DuPont, and began to walk out the door, picking up the front of her dress as she went.

"Miss Ravenclaw?" Rowena paused and turned around, "Aren't ya forgettin' somethin'?" The grey-haired woman was holding a bouquet of violets, and pale purple and white lilacs.

Rowena laughed at herself. "Can't leave those, now can I?" She took the bouquet and headed back toward the door.

"One last thing, Miss Ravenclaw…" Rowena turned again, wondering what she'd forgotten. "Congratulations and good luck."

She smiled, "Thank you, Missus DuPont." And at that she headed out the door, hearing the crack of disapparation, and walked through the castle meeting Helga and the baker's young son and daughter at the front doors.

"Oh my dear lord, Rowena… You look… gorgeous!" She sounded like she was tearing up. Helga was dressed in a light purple gown that flowed down to her black shoes and her hair was up in a nice decorative bun - she was to be Rowena's maid of honour. The young boy was dressed in tiny black dress-robes and the young girl was dressed in a similar fashion to Helga. "Are you ready?" Rowena took a deep breath and nodded. "Alright then." Helga looked to the young girl, "Go on now, Miss Cook." The great door opened to let the girl out. Shortly after the girl had left, the baker's son was instructed to head out with the rings.

"Row… Count ten seconds after I leave and then follow me, alright? Good luck." She hugged her friend and the blonde woman in purple walked out of the castle, leaving Rowena alone for ten seconds.

"One… Two…" Rowena breathed. She could feel herself blushing and her legs shaking slightly. It wasn't 'til now she realized how nervous she had become. "… Five… Six… Seven…" Three seconds and she would be descending the stone steps and then walking down the aisle, toward Salazar, where he would take her as his wife for all their lives. "… Ten." She took another breath and walked out the castle doors into the bright daylight.

It took her a moment to orient herself, but as soon as she did, she took in just how many people Helga had ended up inviting. She didn't even recognize most of them. There was Madam Amareth, the owner of the Hogsmeade pub, sitting in the fourth row from the back, and Mister, Missus, and Master Windover sitting two rows up from her. A few more people from Hogsmeade were scatted through the seating arrangements, all dressed in their best for this day. The day was beautiful and perfect for the event, they'd chosen well. The lake sparkled behind the altar, shimmering and glowing around the man standing before it.

He was dressed in the finest trousers and shirt money could buy. His messy hair was combed through and he stood tall as ever. Salazar's beautiful hazel eyes were glued to her, awestruck. His smile was as bright as hers, if not brighter. She felt her cheeks flushing red, but she did not look away from him as she headed up the flower strewn aisle. Her heart did cartwheels inside her, excited and over-flowing with love, and she could see the same in him, could hear his heart, among all the others around, beating the loudest and hardest.

It seemed to take years to walk down from the castle toward the altar, toward him, but she arrived there, flowers in hands and tears in eyes. Helga stood to her left and Salazar to her right, Godric to _his_ right, and as they all turned, before them was the priest. He smiled at each of them, and then looked down at his prepared script. "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to celebrate the union of Master Salazar Slytherin and Miss Rowena Ravenclaw in the bonds of marriage. You come together out on this beautiful day to seal and strengthen your love." Rowena had asked that all of the "the Lord"s and "the Holy Father"s be taken out as her belief system was very different from that of the priests, and Salazar had been completely fine with it. It made her feel much better about it, because it then felt more… real and true and binding. "We all bless your love. So in the presence of each other, your friends, and family, I ask you both to state your intention. Salazar Slytherin, have you come here freely and without reservation to take Rowena Ravenclaw in marriage?"

Salazar and Rowena looked at each other then back to the priest. "I have." he said smiling.

"And do you promise to love an honour her for the rest of your life?"

"I do."

"And Rowena Ravenclaw have you come here freely and without reservation to give yourself to Salazar Slytherin in marriage?"

"Yes." she responded.

"And do _you_ promise to love and honour _him_ for the rest of your life?"

"Yes, I do."

"Since then it is your intention to enter into marriage, I ask you both to face each other and join hands and declare your consent before myself and these witnesses." They did so, after Rowena passed her bouquet to Helga, and looked into each other's eyes, though hers shimmered with a thin film of tears as she looked up.

Salazar took a deep breath and let it out slowly before beginning. "Rowena, I thought from the first time I met you, fresh out of the storm, soaking and shy, that you were something special, something different from anything I'd ever seen before. I found out shortly after just how different and special you were and are to this day." He paused. "I couldn't quite put my finger on you at first. You were very solitary, and you didn't seem to like being indoors. You were always staring out the window or walking out in the forest or by the lake, and I just simply found you to be so irresistibly beautiful." Salazar chuckled a little, seeing Rowena blush even more. "I watched you until I got the nerve to talk to you, and once I did, I had never felt more terrified in my life, because you informed me the same day I spoke to you that you were moving on… So I did what I had to, to… persuade you not to." Rowena laughed, remembering the day clearly. "And it worked.

"It doesn't seem like it's been less than a year since I even met you, but it really has been only eleven months. Eleven, life changing months.

"Before I met you, Rowena, I was fairly convinced that any and every woman I met would only be interested in me for my wealth, even though I hoped that some day some woman would come along and disprove that idea, but you… You were genuinely interested because of who I am. You became that woman I'd so longed for. That woman I hardly thought existed. And there you were. You came out of nowhere and into my life… just like an angel.

"It was September when I decided I was going to marry you… and then it took me two months to get up the courage to get a ring made, and after that ring actually was made in December, it took me a week to find the perfect moment to actually propose to you. I knew when you started singing 'This is the it' and I can still hardly believe this is really happening. I never dreamed I'd have as wonderful, beautiful, and amazing a woman to stand by my side as my partner for life.

"Rowena, today I am proud to take you as my wife. I vow to be your true love and to whole-heartedly support and encourage your dreams, desires, and ambitions, as I know you can achieve them. I promise to be your safe haven and be there through _whatever_ life brings us. When you fall, I will catch you; when you cry, I will comfort you; when you laugh, I will share in your joy. I give you everything I have and all that I am, from this moment forward and for all time."

Tears had completely flooded Rowena's eyes, she felt one slide down her cheek and she let go of Salazar's hand to wipe it away then placed it back in his open palm. "Salazar." She said after a deep breath to calm herself. "The first time I looked into those gorgeous hazel eyes of yours… I knew I would fall for you. Oh and goodness knows how hard I tried not to. I didn't want to be in love again. I didn't want to depend on someone again. I didn't want to be attached, I just wanted to be able to leave should I want or need to. But you had me. You picked that day I was determined to leave as the day you would kiss me, and I couldn't do it. I couldn't leave. Everything inside me told me how wrong it was for me to leave, and so I stayed.

"You have proven yourself time and time again to be brave and generous to me. I mean, you could have had _any_ woman you liked, one of any family you wished, any place you liked, but I just happened upon you, and you chose me. It's crazy really, everything we've been through, from wild beasts to tiny birds, from running to the hospital wing to running a school-to-be, we've been through so much in only just under a year.

"I have been eternally grateful for you waking me from my nightmares for they plague me like nothing else, and you have saved me from them so many times I can't hope to count them. You love me for all my faults, for all my imperfections, for all my mistakes, and if you thought you'd never find someone who would love you for you, there was not a single shot at hope for me, and yet, we've found each other.

"I love everything about you, and our lives are probably not going to get any easier, but I know we can stick it out, because we'll be together.

"My darling Salazar, I take you as my husband because you are also my friend, my steadfast, courageous, and brilliantly insane companion," she laughed and two more tears dropped from her eyes. "my one true love. On this most special day, I give you this most special promise before our friends and those who are practically family. I will be your lawfully wedded wife. When our way becomes hard, I promise to cheer you and stand by you, so that through joining together, we can achieve more than we could ever do alone. I will remain by your side through the bad and the good, the better and the best of life. I pledge to hold tight to our love and be your faithful partner. I promise to give you my unwavering love, for as long as we both shall live."

The guests applauded and tears fell from Rowena's eyes rapidly. The baker's son, Master Cook, came forward with the two golden rings, both set with a small diamond. "Would you now place the rings on each other's left ring fingers." Salazar picked up her ring and slid it onto her finger and then she picked up his as he wiped the tears from her face with his right hand, allowing her to slip his ring onto his left hand. "I pronounce you husband and wife, and blessings upon you both in your life to come." The priest looked at Salazar and addressed him alone, "You may now kiss your bride."

Salazar kissed her and lifted her off her feet as he did so. As he set her back down, he drew back and she laughed. The young Cooks walked back up the aisle first, followed by Godric and Helga. Taking Rowena's hand Salazar looked down at her, his features glowing fabulously, she picked up her skirts with her free hand and when Helga and Godric had moved out of the aisle, they turned away from each other, and dashed down the aisle, laughing, rice being thrown over them until they were inside the doors which shut automatically behind them. She rose up onto her toes and kissed him again.

Rowena could hardly believe that she was Salazar's wife. Eleven months ago, she was merely some dog that had been chewed up and spit out by the rest of the world, sopping wet and dragged into a fire-lit castle, planning only to stay a few nights, but look at her now, Rowena Slytherin… She giggled as he looked down at her gently with all his love in his eyes. There was no way she deserved this, but today, she could accept it all. Today was her day.

Through the passage way, they could hear guests filing into the Great Hall. "Well?" He asked.

"Well?"

"You ready?"

"To face at least a hundred people I don't know? Sure, why not. We'll be doing it again soon anyway… except in miniature…" He laughed at her and kissed her again.

"We best get going then." And he lead her down toward their reception.


End file.
